A Lil Bit About Business & A Lil Bit About Family

Wow and wow, so much has gone on since I last posted. I had to figure out how to move forward with the passing of my aunt, I thought I had it figured out but only fell backwards. However, I do understand that life does go on and she was all about life and she wanted to see me reach my success and that is what I'm holding on to and pushing myself out. I had been staying in and not doing a whole lot and there has been so many things going on with the cheesecake business

http://mamacheesecake.com/ 

which means I really need to shake a leg (hey that's what she would say!). So once again I am dusting myself off and getting right back up and you know I am going to shake a leg!

I had this wonderful opportunity to do a cheesecake tasting with vegans and if Mama Cheesecake can pull it off and create a dynamite tasting vegan cheesecake it will be so worth it.  I have two recipes I am working with and making changes along the way giving it my spin in hopes to give it the original Mama Cheesecake taste. 

I am also working on the website and will have it completed by the end of this month as planned I am currently working on the menu. I could cut and paste my current menu onto the page but if I do that it will look like a cut & paste so instead I'm learning how to use a plugin to help me make it look professional! 

I was thinking back to when I was making cheesecakes when my kids were much younger and it's crazy that I am finding myself doing this baking thing. I somehow feel that we all sometimes have to go down one street only to find our way back to where we should have been, does that make sense? 

Have you ever found yourself running in one direction to get away from something only to find yourself right back where you were? For instance when I left the city I grew-up in I said "see ya later" I had no thought of ever returning for anything more then a visit! And, yet after my divorce guess where I ended up at? Yup, right back there but you know I truly feel it was for a reason so many things happened that has actually helped me to become who I am now and that's not a bad thing. In fact it is a very good thing and I am so excited about the future... I know there will be other ups and downs but I and all of us should always remember that there is always the up side of the down side, lol, it does sound funny but it is so true. We get so stuck in the down side we don't know how to get back up again and we find ourselves falling further down rather then up. We attract more and more things that makes us sad, mad and upset and we continue to feel like there is no way out. the good news is there is a way out! We just have to want it bad enough that we are willing to make some serious changes in our lives; though it's not easy it must be done to make the hand of fate move in the direction of positive happenings!!!

While raising my kids I had to always remember that and trust me there were days I just had no idea how it would turn out. I never thought I would end up turning my cheesecake recipe into a thriving business and yet that is what I have done. I really believe raising a family as a single parent or with two parents is so very similar to raising a new business from the ground up. There is so much to look after!!!

I told a friend today that I was all over the place... I was creating some new cheesecakes for a tasting on Friday with vegans and I'm hoping they like my vegan cheesecakes! I was working on this post for the blog as well as working on the website. I told her it reminded me of the days when I use to juggle work, parenting, and home front and yet I can say I still miss the those days of... mom, mom, mom come here or I have to have a new dress or how about I really need you to be on time to my performance! How did we ever stay sane? Oh yes, the same way I do it now - pull my hair out (not really, just joking!!), by having the faith and understanding that somehow it would all turn out. Yes having faith! 

And, so it goes or as my aunt would say... "Carry on" 

And, A Business Was Born

First an foremost I apologize for writing such a long post... I shall try really hard to start making my post shorter!

I did state last week that my next post would be about my new business that will allow me to continue with this blog and with growing a positive community for one parent families in order for them to now feel like they are Parenting on their own!

So when my kids were small I was able to get my mom to come and watch my kids after school till I got home from work. I worked for a non-profit for ten years and they were always having pot-lucks and of course everyone was always trying to out do each other with what they brought. My mom knew I liked to bake and cook so she said I should come up with my own recipe for something since I was always changing recipes. I came across a recipe for cheesecake and since I truly didn’t care for cheesecake I thought why not create one that I would like. I began playing with flavors and ingredients once I came up with one I liked I took I took it to the very next pot-luck and wow did it get rave reviews! So much so that they asked me to make another with a different flavor and of course once again playing with flavors and ingredients that weekend till I came up with a recipe I liked. As soon as the next pot-luck came around I took it with me. Well of course it was a huge hit and it was at this point that my boss who knew I needed to raise money for my daughter’s 8^th grade trip, suggested that I sell the cheesecakes to help raise the money needed.

To my surprise I did so with great success. I continued to sell my cheesecakes as a means to raising money not just for my daughter’s 8^th grade trip but for both of their activities. I did this trough their elementary and middle school periods which helped us out so very much. Here is a picture of one of the cakes 

I use to do this cute one for Valentine’s Day.

However, after ten years of working with the non-profit I was downsized due to the non-profit losing their funding for the program I over saw it was a scary time for me. The interesting thing is eleven months prior to be downsized I was promoted to the director of a program which was running a gourmet cookie and brownie store! Wow, I never knew that many, many years later what I learned and experienced would help me out. I was told that there was no way I could make this little business support myself and my children so I focused on creating a moderate, “safe” career path for myself in the insurance industry. I built my clientele and my insurance business in order to provide for my family and was able to create residual income as well. Of course this meant I had to relinquish my cheesecake business though most of my family and friends were not any happier that I went into the insurance field since I was a 10099 employee. For me it gave me the feel that I was somehow working for myself. I was also busy trying to figure out how I could create a community for one-parent families as well so I was very busy and all the while keeping my children close by. Again always using my community to help me be assured they were in good hands they attended summer camps and after school care as well as having my mom their when I was not.

However, after fourteen years in the insurance field when I realized it was time to leave the field and I found myself trying to figure out what I would do next! I did get busy figuring out once again how I could create this one-parent family into a business that would create revenue that I could live off of. I was lucky enough in 2011 to get connected with Count Me In, for women’s economic independence via the National Latina Business Women’s Association - Los Angeles Chapter (NLBWA-LA). They are an organization that was created and launched in July 2003 to meet the needs of the growing ranks of Latina Entrepreneurs, Executives and Professionals from L.A. (as FYI you do not have to be a Latina to become a member or to gain support from this awesome organization). I was attending the NLBWA-LA’s Emerging Latina in Business course when a special program was coming to town and they suggested that if we could attend we should. It was a program that was being put on with some top women in business and Coca-Cola and I thought why not. That one day program introduced me to Count Me In’s Founder & President Nell Merlino who is leading the national not-for-profit provider of resources for women to grow their micro businesses into million dollar enterprises. I was totally amazed by what she was informing all of us in the audience regarding women in business. I was also moved by the other amazing women such as Nely Galan, an independent producer and a former President of Entertainment for Telemundo and founder of the Adelante Movement. Who gave us all information that kept us at the edge of our seats and reminding us all to not waste our money but to grow it and push forward in business. There were others as well such as Isisara Bey, Vice President of Programs & Education for Count Me In, and “journey agent” for Make Mine a Million $ Business competitions and workshops across the country. Another amazing speaker was Sandra Cisneros, an American writer and poet who’s novel “The House on Mango Street” about young Latina women coming of age in Chicago, sold more than two million copies. Her story of how she became an author was so inspiring! The list of these powerful women was enough to really inspire me to move forward and to figure out how to get my single parent program on the move.

I ended up winning a spot as one of ten extremely lucky women to participate in a program put on my Count Me In by People Biz a remarkable coaching program for business and so much more. The program was an introduction to the Business Accelerator Course that would be one of the prizes when women participate with the 2012 Count Me In, Pitch Competition. Well needless to say I jumped on board with this and in 2012 without thought that I would end-up being one of the competition winners learned how to pitch my business.

As a winner of the 2012 Pitch Competition I was placed into a group of 12 other women to participate and be a student with the People Biz’s “Business Accelerator Course”. By the end of the course I was aware that though my single parenting program is a great idea it is far from being a business that will generate the income I need to leave the insurance field. I choose to make this blog become part of the community for single parent families along with a Meetup group. This is my way of giving back and helping other single parent families to find their way through the maze of parenting on their own.

OK, so this is all great and it is part of my philanthropic portion of my life but the fact remains that I needed to find a business I could be happy with.  In early April I was meeting my cousin’s daughter (Acacia Mora) who had been helping me out administratively to tell her it did not look good and that I did not know what I was going to do next. She looked at me and said “I know go, it’s time for Plan B” I looked at her and asked wow, there is a Plan B? She said yes, you always talk about how you once sold cheesecakes and we did get to taste it and it’s pretty good. She continued to say she would even help me since she loves to bake and would also like to create a business around cooking/baking and health. She thought this would be a great way for her to learn how to do what she wants and asked if I wanted the help she would be there.

It took me three weeks to figure it out; I spoke to my amazing business coach from the Business Accelerator course Alicia Marie, founder and managing director of People Biz, Inc. I reviewed everything from the course and realized I had everything and the knowledge to make this happen. My next step was to rekindle my passion for baking, after all I had been in the insurance world for fourteen years. I then found myself thinking about how I could develop my signature cheesecakes into a thriving business, and more importantly feel like I was making a difference in different communities? I knew the cheesecakes would have to be the best around and different then the top seller (Cheesecake Factory). Further, I knew that I had to “give back” to communities. I needed to figure out how cheesecakes made with love, and are the best in town can also “pay it forward”! Well with the help of Alicia I was able to come up with how I can do all of this and more!

I had to come up with a name and do some tasting and conduct some tasting to assure my cheesecakes were still as great as they were. Three of them were held over a three week period and I was thrilled with the outcome – questioners were completed and from them I ended-up making some slight adjustments to the recipes with an outrageously delicious outcome! This how…

was born!  

I wanted to make sure that the name some how the name would make someone think of family and of homemade quality goods. When I heard the name I said it over and over again aloud and all of a sudden I realized that Mama was the name we (cousins) called my grandmother on my mother’s side! I then said to myself well that is it!

Once I knew this was what I was going to do I got to work on my business plan in order to assure I truly had a great road map (so to speak) to follow. In fact at the National Latina Business Women Association, Los Angeles 10^th Annual Awards Ceremony I was awarded a $2,500 Grant for the 2013 Business Management Academy as a participant with their annual program which included perfecting my elevator speech, creating a business plan along with many other requirements.

Mama Cheesecakes currently has one wholesale account, many repeat customers and after a short time of creating my Facebook Business Page I was pleasantly surprised to have received quite a few followers. In fact click this link to go directly to my Mama Cheesecake page   https://www.facebook.com/MamaCheesecake  and help me reach 100 followers with in a two week period!

At the moment if you live in Los Angeles area or surrounding area you can order via, e-mail mlopez@mamacheesecake.com or by phone 707-704-3482 or by fax 323-837-4770. However, by the end of this month I will have our new website up and running which will bring in the side of this business which will allow me to “pay it forward”! Also I will be able to ship the cheesecakes all over the U.S. which I am working on right now! If you are currently living outside of the U.S., I can’t ship to you but I will work on this as well!!

This is all so very exciting and if it was not for all the marvelous people in my life over the years and for all the good and bad experiences I would not be embarking on this amazing and exciting journey it’s such a riot to be on this trip!

Well now you know the story of my other business which is giving me the affordability to keep this community growing and to make it as large as I can.

I have to give you the links to all of the amazing organizations I have been so thrilled and extremely grateful to be a part of - if you don't know who they are then I suggest you find out because it is all of them along with individuals and books I mentioned in my last blog post that got me here today! They are also part of why I have such amazing kids who are now all grown up and living their own exciting lives!!!

In no special order:

• http://www.nlbwa-la.org/ for the National Latina Business Women Association-Los Angeles
• http://www.countmein.org/
• http://www.peoplebizinc.com/
• http://theadelantemovement.com/about/

And, so it goes… 

How Do I Grow A Business & Be A Great Parent?

You know many single moms & dads have the desire to build their own business having a vision of the great benefits it would hold for their family and yet they never move forward.  I know for me I always wanted to run my own business since I was small but was always told I could not run a business.  Once my ex and I divorced one of the things I thought about over and over again was running my own business but I was told over and over again you are the main bread winner of your family now, you can’t take a chance on a business.  They always made it clear that I had to give up my dreams and make sure I had safe money for my family according to family and friends it was the right thing and the responsible thing - to have a JOB.

Oh I sold Princess House, Tupperware, Avon, Mary Kaye and even tried Amway!  I did well and always hit awards however, none of them fed the need nor my dream of running a successful business.  Does any of this ring true for any of you?

As my kids got older I wanted to make sure that I always showed and told them that they had my support for what they wanted to do with their life.  Well as long as it did not hurt anyone including themselves, it was important to me for them to feel supported unlike the way I felt.

During junior year of high school my daughter came home and said I want to go to Japan for a month mom! I said “What are you crazy?” I stopped and asked how and what was this all about. She explained there was an organization who sent two students every summer for a month to Japan at no cost to the family however, each family had to commit to three years of participating with the organization (a sister city organization). I said "wow".  I wanted to do the same program when I was in high school but was told no it was too much to ask of the family.  The following week we went to an orientation meeting and obtained all the information about the program, the trip and what would be expected of our family.  The next day with my daughter we sat down with my mother (who was at our home during the day while I was at work).  My sister since she lived with us would have agree as well due to the fact that part of our commitment would be to share our home with a student from Ashiya, Japan (the association was a Sister City program in the City of Montebello).  We were able to get everyone on board including my son. It was no surprise that my daughter was selected to be the Student Ambassador for the City of Montebello that summer. And, we were the first single parent family that was ever selected, they told us they truly felt how committed we would be to the organization. I ended up becoming the president of the organization for four years and took them to a whole new level.

My son later came to me and said he wanted to know why our city did not have a skateboard park in our city where they could have a safe place to skate?  I suggested that he attend a City Council meeting and ask this question to our City Council members.  I went with him and we found out about six months prior some older boys came together and asked the same question. A council member asked my son if he would be willing to sit on a committee to help make this happen and my son told them sure and my mom is really good at this kind of stuff so she will to!  The entire council laughed and the audience as well, the council members asked me if I would be willing to sit on the committee as well and of course I said yes. We met with several boys the director of the city's Parks and Recreation department and came up with a plan; not to mention I became the Chairperson of the group.  My vision for this committee was to create a committee that was truly formed from our community, we solicited to neighbors, local businesses, our police & fire department and we gathered as many skateboarders as possible to be a part of our committee.  We were a hit and extremely successful then and today the City of Montebello has one of the top skateboard parks in the state!  My kids both learned there is a right way and wrong way to get things done and most importantly that they can't do it alone!

I truly believe in what I have mentioned in earlier post that "it takes a village to raise a child" and that is what I truly did. But I know you are thinking what does any of this have to do with how I grow a business and be a great parent?

Here is my thought on this comment and if I had the chance to do this single parenting thing over again these five items are what I would do different:

1.      If I did not have supportive individuals in my circle of friends and family I would look for individuals who
      were looking for the same thing. For instance... I would go to Meetup.com and find other single moms
      and dads!

2.      I would not listen to those who say No You Can’t Do That!

3.      I would surround myself with positive individuals, books, and audios. Such as “Millionaire Mind”, “The
      Secret”, Anything from Bob Proctor like his book “You Were Born Rich” Joel Osteen, T. Harv Ecker
      and so much more but these books and individuals are amazing!

4.      I would look for organizations such as “count me in (for women)”, National Latina Business Women’s
      Association (you do not have to be a Latina to join). These are organizations that will keep you pumped
      up and help you formulate your ideas or point you in the right direction. Single dads out there I am sure
      there are lots of organizations you can join as well. I will do some research for you all. I am part of the
      two associations but there are others out there, just become part of one!

5.      Get a handle on your finances, this is real important. I did several different things to help including in the
      very beginning I went to Consumer Credit Counselors. Again there are so many other places to go to
      including attending a three day Intensive program with T. Harv Ecker.

If you make a commitment to the list above I promise you it will make a difference in your world. If you are wanting to start your own business or go back to school, change jobs, change careers or what ever it is to help your family and children then do it and create a great group of people to support you!

Just start making changes! If anyone needs a bit more detail or support you can always send a confidential e-mail to mlopez@parentingonyourown.com

As for the family side you always keep your kids close to you and when you can't have them with you make plans to have them watched by someone you trust in order to attend meetings and such.  Keep in mind our children learn from us, so if they see you being powerful and going after your dreams guess what they will do and be the same way!  When my children were younger I had many weekends where I had to go to the office and guess what I use to take them with me to the office.  I did my work and my kids brought toys and books they had fun, we would take a break and have our sack lunch together.  Almost every night before going to bed we would read a book and then tell each other our dreams. 

I stay involved with my kids at all times and if I had created my own business I would have continued to do the same thing.  Will it be hard to do this?  You may ask, I would love to say of course not it will be a piece of cake but lets be real it will be hard and you will have to juggle your time.  However, remember it won’t be forever, you make your choices.  Though I did not have my own business I did do a lot of other businesses as mentioned like Tupperware.  Since I would be gone on certain nights without my kids I would have choices to make like hanging out with my girlfriends or be at home with my kids on the weekend.  Well of course my kids won but I was always one to make adjustments such as inviting my friends over to our home instead.  We had bar-b-ques and gathering where we would all come together, I got what I wanted adult time as well as my kids and my kids got to play and have me near by.  It was a win, win situation for all.  The same thing can be done if I was putting in extra time to grow a business.  

So take the bull by the horn and go after your dreams don’t delay, don’t wait till everything is just right because it is never just right!

I am now building my business and I'm so excited and happy and you know what both of my kids are so excited for me, they are proud of what I am doing.  Which has helped them to see and go after what they want!

In my next post on Wednesday, July 10th... I will share with you my new business and I'm hoping to have an announcement of my next guest blogger and/or interview by then.

And, so it goes…
Oops, I almost forgot to mention:
If you live in the Los Angeles area or will be in the LA area on Saturday, August 3rd Parenting on your own will be having a Champagne Celebration to celebrate the new business Mama Cheesecake and Parenting on your own!
It will be hosted by An Empowered Women organization and the exciting part is I will be interviewing Founder, Desiree Doubrox, a divorced mom who raised her two boys in a one parent family home as well,  creating businesses to support them! Check out their (An Empowered Women) site at http://www.anempoweredwoman.com/about/ .
If you would like to attend click here, location TBD:
https://anempoweredwoman.infusionsoft.com/app/form/test/bec196027f074b26b5a659a00027b02d?inf_contact_key=0f87383e53ddc86a906cbc6d177388c5 

Carry On...

I know yesterday I was going to make a new post however, there was a family emergency and I found myself driving from Southern CA to Northern CA and along the way at 12 noon I lost my aunt to a brain aneurysm. I spoke to her on Wednesday the 12th and was looking forward to coming up in July and the next thing I know on Monday I received the phone call letting me know she was in the ICU.

I called her to give her and update on the new business which is what I wanted to write about today or yesterday. However, I will save that for next Wednesday. Instead I really just wanted to share with all of you how she was such a source of strength for my kids and I. She and my uncle were always there and always in support my uncle would always take my son off to show him how to do things like wood carving and throwing a ball. He always told me he wished we lived closer so he could be more of an influence for him and my auntie would always be there for me to talk to, to share with, to help me work out issues. I did have the wonderful opportunity to tell her how much I loved and admire both of them

I always told my kids they my aunt and uncle were the models to look at in regards to marriage and team work as a couple.

You know there is so much more to say but I have to run to go meet my uncle and cousins.

By the way I wrote "Carry On" as the title of this post because that is what my auntie said at the end of her conversations always. And, it is so true now it's time for us to "Carry On".

I shall return with so much more!

And, so it goes...

The Tin Can Phone...

Do you all remember the shoestring can telephone? It's funny how that then turned into telling one person one thing and they in turn tell someone else and of course the whole thing is distorted, i'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

You can tell your kids one thing they in turn tell their sibling something completely different from what you said or better yet one of your kids hears a conversation that you are having and they in turn take it and run with it. And, of course what they heard is all wrong and then you have to try and fix it all or sometimes you just leave it alone.

Yesterday, I was on Facebook when a friend posted that she was going to live in London for 15 months! I thought wow, then I thought wait a minute she has two kids in high school and is running a non-profit she is not going anywhere any time soon. I remembered she sent me a message that I had not read with list of other women as recipients and I just blew it off, to be quiet honest. I went back to that message and read it and the whole thing was about breast cancer and creating awareness.

I know this is not October which is the normal awareness time for this but June
for me comes with mixed feelings. This month was when my cousin (who was my best friend in the whole world) was born on the 1st and she lost her battle to breast cancer on June 20th 2005. However, good news was three years ago on June 16th  her first and only grandchild was born, who clearly has her grandmother's stubbornness and smile; she is a gorgeous little girl! Therefore I just had to participate and help remind women about breast cancer.

What the message said was to help women to remember about breast cancer it asked that we forward the message to all females in our list. But it asked us to look at a key and find our birth month and next to it would be a destination, we were to make a simple post on our status saying "I am going to... then according to our birth day that would be how long we would be visiting. I did exactly what it asked and sent over 90 women the message just as it was sent to me.  My post read "I am going to London for 18 months" that is all I typed.  The thought was all these women would be posting where they were going and for how long which would make the men wonder what the heck was going on.

Shortly after making my post wow, oh wow did my Facebook blow-up so many people wondering why I was going, some asking what the heck happened, some asking if they could come stay with me, others asking if they could join me, others just telling me how awesome and to have fun; while others asking why am I just up and leaving? If the response came from a female I in turn re sent the message so they hopefully  know what was really going on.

Keep in mind that I am in the middle of making changes as I mentioned in previous blog postings about moving my parenting program from a website to this blog. I am also right in the beginning stages of building a new business that is starting off so Great (the information on the new business as to why and how will be my next post next week on Wednesday)!   As I just mentioned the new business just started and I truly have not even done an official launch and many individuals know I am doing this. at this. Even though the minute I posted that I was going to London for 18 months the messages, text messages and phone calls started.

I also had a friend post a joke that I met a man who was taking me to London to meet his family! In turn one of my daughters friends saw the post (neither of my kids are on Facebook) and he started texting and calling her. So of course she called me and wanted to know what the heck was going on!

She was so upset though she did say I know this isn't true but... So I told her all about the breast cancer awareness thing and so on and so on. She laughed about it and said her friend was so insistent that I was indeed running off to London with this man I met online (boy did the story grow)!

I couldn't believe how many individuals just took it for grant it that if I said I was going to London then I must be going without even thinking what about my new business or asking me why I was leaving!

I just thought it was so funny - I could not stop laughing the entire night! My son will laugh so hard when he hears this story and he will say that's why I'm not on there.


It was like I was playing the telephone game!


But to bring it back home in reference to children and raising them on our own... I remember the days I would say one thing to my son who in turn would run and tell his sister something different and she would then run to me and ask why.

Then there was the time my daughter overheard my mother and I talking about some things and swore that we were talking about me sending them to live with their dad for always! She was so upset, I believe it was right after that incident that a new house rule was if you heard something you had to bring it up to the person you heard it from to check to see if it was real. I guess I shall be having people reaching out to me for some time asking me when I will be leaving. Actually, I think at some point I will have to mention that I am not going anyway but to the top with my new business and helping single parents through my blog!!

One time my son was in front of the TV with one of his favorite shows on, he had his dinosaurs out playing with them and his farm animal set out as well and a magazine that had an article about dinosaurs. My sister sat next to me on the sofa we were just across from him in the living room - she wanted to talk about a going to a movie with her later that week. I asked her to wait till later to talk to me about this and she said "why, Shawn is way too busy over there to hear us!" Just then he turned around and said "I heard you say that, what movie is sister & I going to go see?" I then turned and looked at her and said "see he heard every word despite all that was going on around him!"

Oh wait, there was the big issue of my son hearing my daughter and her friends talking about no Santa Clause!! That was huge but it all turned out OK, save this topic for much later in the year.

Moral of this story is... little ears are always listening even if you think they are not! Big ears don't necessarily here every word or they don't stop to think about what they heard, they just react!

And, so it goes...

Hot off the press... if you live in the Los Angeles area on Saturday, August 3rd Parenting on your own will be having a Champagne Celebration to celebrate the new business Mama Cheesecake and Parenting on your own.  It will be hosted by An Empowered Women organization and the exciting part is that I will be interviewing Founder, Desiree Doubrox, a divorced mom who raised her two boys in a one parent family home while creating businesses to support them! Check out their site at http://www.anempoweredwoman.com/about/ .  And, this amazing women has been an entrepreneur since the age of 12!

Keep your eyes out for detail or if you want to get on our list now click here:
https://anempoweredwoman.infusionsoft.com/app/form/test/bec196027f074b26b5a659a00027b02d?inf_contact_key=0f87383e53ddc86a906cbc6d177388c5 

your

My Mother's Day Thoughts...

I had started a post once I got home from my relaxing Mother’s Day but was thrilled to have received the note from Alicia Marie to please post her as a guest blogger. So, my post is a bit past the date of Mother’s Day however, the thoughts are there and I did type this out on the 12^th.

I look forward to sharing with you all another guest blogger coming up with in the next two weeks.

Enjoy the read…

May 12, 2013,

Today is Mother’s Day and we all went over to my daughter’s home for dinner. It was a late start as usual (why try to pretend we are early folks cause we are not) it was myself, my sister, my mother, my brother, father, one niece, as well as my son and daughter in-law. It was wonderful I did nothing but sit, watch TV, chat with the family and just enjoy the day.

They had some great gifts (which they did not need to do) for my mother and I as well as for my sister (they know she was always around for them). Both my mom and sister helped us out along the way as we did the single parent family thing. Despite telling them (my kids) that they do not need to buy gifts they do it anyway. It’s not the gifts but the time we all get to share with one another that is so very precious to me!

My son and daughter in-law gave me a book and they each wrote a loving dedication in it to me so sweet. My daughter gave me a cute card along with a gift certificate but it was what was written in the card and in the dedication in book that brought me to tears. As proud of me as they are I truly hope they know how proud of them I am! They both tell me they are who they are because of me and yet I am the women I am today because of them!

I was once asked how was I able to teach my kids to be such awesome adults and I thought about it and here is what I said…

I knew I had to be strong to teach them strength, I had to be fair (to a degree) to teach them fairness, I had to treat them with respect in order to receive it from them and I had to fall from time to time to show them that they will always be able to get back up no matter what happens to them!

You know this single parenting thing is/was a tough job but then parenting in general is a tough job, right?

Long live the three musketeers, who have grown and added to their tribe a wonderful daughter in-law and in the future a son in-law and who knows what else is in store for us..

And, so it goes…

In Celebration of Mom!

I'm a bit behind regarding my May 10^th kick-off however, I'm very excited with what I have in store for those of you who are checking in and reading this blog. Hopefully we get some more comments because the more comments the more interaction and sharing is always a great thing, right?

I want to take this week and the rest of this month to talk and honor moms who are raising their kids on their own. Don’t worry dad’s I know there are a lot of you as well and June is right around the corner which means all the single dads raising their kids on their own will have a chance. I know we can all learn from each other! 

As I promised I do not want to be the only one writing here and I have invited some pretty awesome moms to share their thoughts about raising their kids. What they have learned, what they have gone through and just sharing with all of us.

If you know a mom that we should be hearing from please contact me at mlopez@parentingonyourown.com let me know about who you are thinking of and please leave your name and phone number as well as e-mail. Also leave me a brief history about the mom you feel that others need to hear from. 

Lets begin... This first mom is awesome she raised her kids on her own. She is the founder of an amazing business called People biz, Inc which is a national coaching and training organization based in Austin, TX. That supports client’s measurable transformation in realizing their personal and professional goals. You can obtain Business Coaching, Executive Coaching, Leadership Programs, Wellness Programs and so much more. I have personally taken a business program with People biz, Inc through Count Me In, for women's economic Independence as well as a couple of here other programs and she as well as her team is amazing! You can connect with Alicia via FaceBook and please feel free to go to her business site at http://www.peoplebizinc.com/ -- if you are a mom or dad who is trying to figure out how to get a business up and running they are the people to go to!

I read her post from May 12^th and I knew I had to get permission to post it here for all of my readers to enjoy as much as I did. She was thrilled that I asked and told me yes please share.

OK, more info to follow but for now let’s take a read from Alicia Marie:

Being Fierce & Motherhood: 

Fierce is not mean, judgmental or angry; Fierce is an energy I learned /honed and sharpened from motherhood. I remember first feeling it when holding my first born. No one , no circumstance would ever get in the way of my loving him and caring for him. Fierce contains determination and is unstoppable. It came in handy as a "young mother" when I had to figure out how to put food on the table or manage my highly energetic child who seemingly never slept. 

Being fierce is a wise and spiritual energy and made having my last two sons at home a "no brainer". I learned that the body has it's own wisdom and knows what to do. 

It arose when "authority" such as teachers, doctors, friends and family questioned my parenting choices. 

Fierceness had me educate myself to support my family. It took hold when my children needed me the most and kept me faithful & courageous when they were learning life's lessons. Instead of trying to save them from the world. They learned to be bold. It kept me from interfering with "who" they were as they struggled to find their own way. 

Oh and I learned the "look' You know the "look". The one that stops your child dead in their tracks not from fear but because mom just drew the line in the sand. Fierceness was inclusive because it contained respect for myself and them. Fierceness allowed me to never need them to love me and taught them to love themselves versus look for it outside themselves. 

I never wanted to be a mother because I didn't think I would be good one. I always knew however each child was an unexpected and unplanned blessing and trusted that God would show me the way. 

Just as my mother was absolutely the perfect mother for who I have become somehow I was right for them. Their cards and calls to thank me and acknowledge me today was nice but it is no comparison to watching them live their lives with authenticity and strength. Now, they are grown men I am super proud of, not because of what they have done but because of who they are..."Fierce". 

I am forever grateful for this lesson of motherhood. I carry it with me everyday. Maybe God does have a plan for us all. 

Thank you Alicia for allowing me to take your facebook post and to share it here on my blog!

And, so it goes...