How Do I Grow A Business & Be A Great Parent?

You know many single moms & dads have the desire to build their own business having a vision of the great benefits it would hold for their family and yet they never move forward.  I know for me I always wanted to run my own business since I was small but was always told I could not run a business.  Once my ex and I divorced one of the things I thought about over and over again was running my own business but I was told over and over again you are the main bread winner of your family now, you can’t take a chance on a business.  They always made it clear that I had to give up my dreams and make sure I had safe money for my family according to family and friends it was the right thing and the responsible thing - to have a JOB.

Oh I sold Princess House, Tupperware, Avon, Mary Kaye and even tried Amway!  I did well and always hit awards however, none of them fed the need nor my dream of running a successful business.  Does any of this ring true for any of you?

As my kids got older I wanted to make sure that I always showed and told them that they had my support for what they wanted to do with their life.  Well as long as it did not hurt anyone including themselves, it was important to me for them to feel supported unlike the way I felt.

During junior year of high school my daughter came home and said I want to go to Japan for a month mom! I said “What are you crazy?” I stopped and asked how and what was this all about. She explained there was an organization who sent two students every summer for a month to Japan at no cost to the family however, each family had to commit to three years of participating with the organization (a sister city organization). I said "wow".  I wanted to do the same program when I was in high school but was told no it was too much to ask of the family.  The following week we went to an orientation meeting and obtained all the information about the program, the trip and what would be expected of our family.  The next day with my daughter we sat down with my mother (who was at our home during the day while I was at work).  My sister since she lived with us would have agree as well due to the fact that part of our commitment would be to share our home with a student from Ashiya, Japan (the association was a Sister City program in the City of Montebello).  We were able to get everyone on board including my son. It was no surprise that my daughter was selected to be the Student Ambassador for the City of Montebello that summer. And, we were the first single parent family that was ever selected, they told us they truly felt how committed we would be to the organization. I ended up becoming the president of the organization for four years and took them to a whole new level.

My son later came to me and said he wanted to know why our city did not have a skateboard park in our city where they could have a safe place to skate?  I suggested that he attend a City Council meeting and ask this question to our City Council members.  I went with him and we found out about six months prior some older boys came together and asked the same question. A council member asked my son if he would be willing to sit on a committee to help make this happen and my son told them sure and my mom is really good at this kind of stuff so she will to!  The entire council laughed and the audience as well, the council members asked me if I would be willing to sit on the committee as well and of course I said yes. We met with several boys the director of the city's Parks and Recreation department and came up with a plan; not to mention I became the Chairperson of the group.  My vision for this committee was to create a committee that was truly formed from our community, we solicited to neighbors, local businesses, our police & fire department and we gathered as many skateboarders as possible to be a part of our committee.  We were a hit and extremely successful then and today the City of Montebello has one of the top skateboard parks in the state!  My kids both learned there is a right way and wrong way to get things done and most importantly that they can't do it alone!

I truly believe in what I have mentioned in earlier post that "it takes a village to raise a child" and that is what I truly did. But I know you are thinking what does any of this have to do with how I grow a business and be a great parent?

Here is my thought on this comment and if I had the chance to do this single parenting thing over again these five items are what I would do different:

1.      If I did not have supportive individuals in my circle of friends and family I would look for individuals who
      were looking for the same thing. For instance... I would go to Meetup.com and find other single moms
      and dads!

2.      I would not listen to those who say No You Can’t Do That!

3.      I would surround myself with positive individuals, books, and audios. Such as “Millionaire Mind”, “The
      Secret”, Anything from Bob Proctor like his book “You Were Born Rich” Joel Osteen, T. Harv Ecker
      and so much more but these books and individuals are amazing!

4.      I would look for organizations such as “count me in (for women)”, National Latina Business Women’s
      Association (you do not have to be a Latina to join). These are organizations that will keep you pumped
      up and help you formulate your ideas or point you in the right direction. Single dads out there I am sure
      there are lots of organizations you can join as well. I will do some research for you all. I am part of the
      two associations but there are others out there, just become part of one!

5.      Get a handle on your finances, this is real important. I did several different things to help including in the
      very beginning I went to Consumer Credit Counselors. Again there are so many other places to go to
      including attending a three day Intensive program with T. Harv Ecker.

If you make a commitment to the list above I promise you it will make a difference in your world. If you are wanting to start your own business or go back to school, change jobs, change careers or what ever it is to help your family and children then do it and create a great group of people to support you!

Just start making changes! If anyone needs a bit more detail or support you can always send a confidential e-mail to mlopez@parentingonyourown.com

As for the family side you always keep your kids close to you and when you can't have them with you make plans to have them watched by someone you trust in order to attend meetings and such.  Keep in mind our children learn from us, so if they see you being powerful and going after your dreams guess what they will do and be the same way!  When my children were younger I had many weekends where I had to go to the office and guess what I use to take them with me to the office.  I did my work and my kids brought toys and books they had fun, we would take a break and have our sack lunch together.  Almost every night before going to bed we would read a book and then tell each other our dreams. 

I stay involved with my kids at all times and if I had created my own business I would have continued to do the same thing.  Will it be hard to do this?  You may ask, I would love to say of course not it will be a piece of cake but lets be real it will be hard and you will have to juggle your time.  However, remember it won’t be forever, you make your choices.  Though I did not have my own business I did do a lot of other businesses as mentioned like Tupperware.  Since I would be gone on certain nights without my kids I would have choices to make like hanging out with my girlfriends or be at home with my kids on the weekend.  Well of course my kids won but I was always one to make adjustments such as inviting my friends over to our home instead.  We had bar-b-ques and gathering where we would all come together, I got what I wanted adult time as well as my kids and my kids got to play and have me near by.  It was a win, win situation for all.  The same thing can be done if I was putting in extra time to grow a business.  

So take the bull by the horn and go after your dreams don’t delay, don’t wait till everything is just right because it is never just right!

I am now building my business and I'm so excited and happy and you know what both of my kids are so excited for me, they are proud of what I am doing.  Which has helped them to see and go after what they want!

In my next post on Wednesday, July 10th... I will share with you my new business and I'm hoping to have an announcement of my next guest blogger and/or interview by then.

And, so it goes…
Oops, I almost forgot to mention:
If you live in the Los Angeles area or will be in the LA area on Saturday, August 3rd Parenting on your own will be having a Champagne Celebration to celebrate the new business Mama Cheesecake and Parenting on your own!
It will be hosted by An Empowered Women organization and the exciting part is I will be interviewing Founder, Desiree Doubrox, a divorced mom who raised her two boys in a one parent family home as well,  creating businesses to support them! Check out their (An Empowered Women) site at http://www.anempoweredwoman.com/about/ .
If you would like to attend click here, location TBD:
https://anempoweredwoman.infusionsoft.com/app/form/test/bec196027f074b26b5a659a00027b02d?inf_contact_key=0f87383e53ddc86a906cbc6d177388c5