You know what? Up to now I really have not discussed why I wanted to do this blog or why did I start off wanting a magazine about single parent families? I would like to try and convey that now...
I became a single parent when my two kids were three and seven years old and I had to learn how to deal with every day life while raising two kids with childhood epilepsy. I had so many questions and concerns and I really did not have anyone to turn to in the beginning. It started a long time ago when my ex left to Texas (hey isn't there a song about that?) after he left it took me three weeks to finally move out of what use to be my home to return back to Montebello, California. Why did I move you may be asking? Well long story short it was sold out from under me and I never realized what was going on, my ex said trust him. I guess I should not have been so trusting and I should have followed my instincts. Which told me not to sign the power of attorney, shame on me for not trusting me! He left to move to his next station (an air force sergeant) back then. Our belongings or my half of them were packed-up and shipped to a storage center in Los Angeles at the time we were living in Las Vegas. I was in denial I kept thinking he was coming back so I did not want to leave and then both kids came down with the chicken pox's virus. Our neighbors were so kind they all helped out with cots, and food they kept a good eye on us, Sir Lancelot Circle Gang you were the best and in case I never said "thank you" here it is now! I was not ready to leave and was in shock to be honest and I had a month before I had to turn the house over to the new owners. My kids kept asking when was daddy coming home, even though before he left he spoke to them but come on they were barely three and seven. Those days were some of the most darkest days of my life and I thank God they are far behind me now!
We had been married for fifteen years but had been together for about twenty we were high school sweethearts that were going to stay together forever (sound familiar). But that's not what happened... OK wait a minute this blog is not about the break-up but about raising my kids as a solo parent and trying to learn how to deal with everyday life. I had so many questions that I like to refer to as the "How Do I" questions. Like... how do I move forward in my life and give my children a somewhat normal family life as possible? How do I figure out what to tell them? How do I manage to keep a roof over our heads when I had not worked a full time job in over seven years? How do I convince my kids that we were still a family when they only saw and had me? How do I become an entrepreneur as I always wanted to when everyone was telling me I had to think smart and get a real job since I was the sole provider for my family? Well I think you get the picture, because you know I could keep on giving you more "How Do I" questions because there are a ton of them.
I had to learn so many things and it was a very bumpy road for all three of us and for the first year we lived with my in-laws, yes I said my in-laws (they were my angels taking us in). In fact during that first year I never left my kids alone! I remember my son sitting outside of the bathroom door when I would have to go and he would put his little fingers under the door so I could touch them and he knew I was OK and that I was not leaving. He would talk in his little boy talk and half the time I had no idea what he was saying. I kept them as close to me as I possibly could to shield them from any more pain. My daughter became my Court Jester I would go pick her up from school and she would talk and talk and tell me jokes and stories to make me laugh. I was a mess!
We would go to our room at bed time say our prayers and I would tuck them into their own beds (bunk beds) and then I would get into my little twin bed (all in one room). By morning all three of us would be in the same bed all twisted together, hmm I wonder if either of them remember this, I will have to ask them tomorrow.
So, I came up with the magazine idea a while back, OK a long while back but there was no one for me to look up to or be mentored by who could or would allow me to truly believe that I could somehow pull this off. I thought of a magazine would be great because I always liked reading magazines and my kids did as well we would go to the store and each of us would find the type of magazines we liked. Even before my son was reading he would select his magazine which was always about animals and/or bugs. My daughter would select girly magazines or anything showing pictures about her favorite cartoon characters. Me well anything that talked about parenting to try and help me with those "How Do I" questions.
Needless to say I tried to get it done but hit road blocks after road blocks. What about the internet you may be thinking... there was but it was not like it is now, nor was there any social media or blogs. It was back in the day as my son would say.
OK, so ended up writing a lot more then what I had planned to so come back to read what happened next and what I did I finally end -up creating.
I will leave you with a picture of my little family from back in the day, mind you it was taken a year after the break-up and move. By this time I had begun working full-time, we moved out of mom and dad P's home and into our own home and my stuff came out of storage! Oh, one last thing for this posting... I would learn over and over again that Life Does Go On and it Does get better but during the low points I would fail to remember this and would have to learn again that Life Does Go On!
And, so it goes...
I love this picture! Hmm, I wonder if my kids will see this and if so will they be upset about me posting it.
