My Personal Thoughts on Statistics...

First and foremost sorry I did say that I would post today my thoughts on all the statistics I have been posting however, I have had internet issues for the last couple of days. I believe it is all cleared up now or so I'm told it is, so without delay here is my information. I apologize in advance also for the long posting - I hope you will read this to the end and share the post as well as leave a comment!

What Do All of These Statistics Mean To Me? 

To be honest I detest giving any life to these statistics (which I believe happens each time they are read) and yet people want to know. For me when I give or print out statistics or as I do updates with new searches regarding statistics for single parent families I end up feeling so drained, as well as sad and after a bit I become angry! I have to remind myself that statistics are nothing more then numbers that are generated by studies, questionnaires and census. Numbers do tell a story but they are not always accurate and for the most part they do not tell the story in a positive manner! Remember numbers can be skewed, be changed and not tell the whole story.   

This is my personal statement with regards to the statistics I have been posting:

For my family and many others that I know who’s family are referred to as “single parents” I would like to point out a few things such as I worked full-time, attend classes off & on part-time, and I tried to out many different home based business (part-time) to help with income while raising my two children from the ages of 3 & 7. From this point forward I would rather say “one-parent family” than single parent because we are also a family! Again this is regarding me and many one-parent families that I know who has raised or raising their families without assistance from the State, County, or Government programs of any kind! My two children graduated from High School one of them was in the top 10% and Solitarian of her graduating class! The other graduated from high school and received awards for his attendance through out his education and I was personally thanked by his teachers and counselors for bring him to their school! They were not drop outs nor ever arrested or incarcerated, they were not runaways or tried to commit suicide and neither of my children were teenage parents. I am proud of my children and they are just as good as any child from any two-parent family and I must say I did a pretty good job despite what is written out there in terms of what should have happened to them while growing up in a one-parent family!

I worked full-time all year round and I received higher then average salaries. And, I am proud to state once again that I never received Public Assistance of any kind nor did other one-parent families that I knew and know of today. I also did many home based businesses to help bring in extra income when we needed it for everything from school trips to vacations.

I was lucky to have had help from my sister and my mother was my sitter at my home while I worked. Their other grandmother and grandfather from their father’s side was also a great help to us as the children were growing up.

My children had male influences from both uncles (not boyfriends) and grandfathers from both sides of their families. Their father was not involved in their upbringing nor did he live in California. My child support was almost nothing it was under $700.00 a moth and I know many one-parent families with even less then $500 as child support to nothing. I learned a lot about community and I am a huge supporter of the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”!

I know moms and dads who have built businesses and completed higher education all while raising upstanding children as a one-parent family. I know children who come from two-parent families and they cannot say that they were not teen moms or dads. That they finished their high school education and so and so on.

There are a lot of Moms and Dads from one-parent families that need to see the other side of the coin and learn that the numbers they read are just in fact numbers. That their kids do not need to be part of the statistics they read about. Children who read this information should know that they do not have to be part of the statistics.

They should have a place to go to where they can read about the positive side of being part of a one-parent family! Did you know that it’s a fact that children have a stronger bond with their parent while growing up and as adults who come from a one-parent family rather then a two-parent family?  Did you know that children know and understand their community and the resources (like park and recreation activities, city council and city organizations) that are their for them more from one-parent families then from two-parent families?

Children should be able to find and hear about children who were raised or being raided in a one-parent family who are successful, with school and their lives! We all should be able to see and hear about this because the fact is whether we like it or not one-parent families are here and they are not going away. We become one-parent families sometimes because of divorce, because a relationship fails, a teen pregnancy, or a death, most times we are not looking for it. However, more then ever, one-parent families are created because an individual wants to share their love, time and money with a child through birth or adoption and there is nothing wrong with that. 

This is why the online membership community Parenting On Your Own has been created! This site has resources that will be available to tell the story on the good side verses all the bad negative information we find on the internet and in books. Of one-parent families who are doing great, of a parent that is studying to earn their higher education degree, of the child who was raised in a one-parent home who is doing well and is a thriving and a contributing person to society.  Articles along the same line on our blog, the highlighting of a one-parent family and what they have gone through and what they are doing to raise healthy and thriving children. The site will also connect the one-parent family to organizations and businesses in their communities.  

In general the Mission of Parenting On Your Own is to…

Empower one-parent families to feel that they have the same social connections and resources as couples do, so they can create happy vibrant children on their own!

Go to our temporary website at parentingonyourown.com go to the click here button to complete a survey; help design this site to be what your family is looking for. Go to our guest page and leave us a note and your contact information (FYI no one will be able to see your contact information but our web person). Then keep an eye out for our big launch party if you leave your contact information on the “guest page” we will keep you in the loop of things. We are also putting together some great webinars, tele-classes and interviews as sneak previews! If your not from a one-parent family I’m sure you know someone who is send them our way! Also if you have children but are from a two-parent family and are thinking this site is not for you… I’m sure there are times you find yourself alone with your child for a meal or rushing them to school or to pick them after school or at day care because your spouse is unavailable due to work. Or your spouse is in the military and are on deployment – well guess what you are a one-parent family at that time!

Thank you for taking time to read all of the information and my thoughts! Sorry this was soooo long!

And, so it goes…

3 of 3 Post Regarding Statistics

Here is my 3^rd post on statistics for single parent families regarding the parent and their children as I promised. On Thursday of this week I shall give my thoughts on all of the statistics I have posted. There are so many statistics out there and they all seem to go from worse to far worse and as you will read the following statistics were taken in the 90’s.   

Here is a quote to read first I hope you can take it in before taking in the statistics…

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”  

Charles R. Swindoll

By the U.S. Census Bureau in November, 2009:

Children Being Raised in Single Parent Homes:

·        21.8 million children under the age of 21 are being raised by a single parent

·        This represents 26.3% of all children under 21 in the U.S.

Custodial Single Parent Statistics:

·        Mothers represent 82.6% of all custodial parents.

·        Fathers represent 17.4% of all custodial parents.

Single Parent Statistics Regarding Employment:

·        53.7% of custodial single parents work full-time, year-round.

·        27.7% of custodial single parents work either part-time or part-year.

·        18.7% of custodial single parents do not work.

Single Parent Statistics and Poverty:

·        24.6% of all custodial parents and their children earn less than the Federal poverty level.

·        12.5% of the general population in the U.S. lives in poverty.

Single Parent Statistics and Government Assistance:

·        In 1993, 22% of custodial single parents received Aid to Families With Dependent Children.

·        AFDC is now Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)

·        In 2007, 4.3% of custodial single parents received TANF.

The following statistics is what adds more fuel to “The Why” a strong online membership community is needed.  Please keep in mind the following information below is from 1991: [Current Populations Reports, US Bureau of the Census, Series P-20, No. 458, 1991]

What does this mean?  Children from fatherless homes are:

• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
• 6.6 times to become teenaged mothers (if they are girls, of course),
• 24.3 times more likely to run away,
• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.

(The calculation of the relative risks shown in the preceding list is based on 27% of children being in the care of single mothers.)

and — compared to children who are in the care of two biological, married parents — children who are in the care of single mothers are:

• 33 times more likely to be seriously abused (so that they will require medical attention), and
• 73 times more likely to be killed. 

Part 2 - Single Parent Families Statistics/Numbers

As promised here is part two of statistics regarding single parent families, I did state on Tuesday that I would give you my thoughts on what all these stats mean. However, there are a lot more stats to review and I just hate to give you all of these statistics in one seating it is way too much. In fact when I was hunting them down by the end of the day I was wiped out! It is a lot and the stats are bit harsh, scary and down right sad...

So I hope you don't mind I will in stead post part here for today and then post the other half on Tuesday, July 24th then on Thursday, July 26th I will give you my thoughts!


What's the "average" single parent really like? According to the U.S. Census Bureau...

 She is a Mother:

·        Approximately 84% of custodial parents are mothers

·        16% of custodial parents are fathers

 She is Divorced or Separated:

 Of the mothers who are custodial parents:

·        45% are currently divorced or separated

·        34.2% have never been married

·        19% are married (In most cases, these numbers represent women who have remarried)

·        1.7% were widowed

 Of the fathers who are custodial parents:

·        57.8% are divorced or separated

·        20.9% have never married

·        20% are currently married (In most cases, these numbers represent men who have remarried)

·        Fewer than 1% were widowed

She is Employed:

   79.5% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed

·        49.8% work full time, year round

·        29.7% work part-time or part-year

·        90% of custodial single fathers are gainfully employed

·        71.7% work full time, year round

·        18.4% work part-time or part-year

She and Her Children Do Not Live in Poverty:

·        27% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty

·        12.9% of custodial single fathers and their children live in poverty

She Does Not Receive Public Assistance:

  Among custodial single mothers:

·        22% receive Medicaid

·        23.5% receive food stamps

·        12% receive some form of public housing or rent subsidy

·        5% receive TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families)

She is 40 Years Old or Older:

·        39.1% of custodial single mothers are 40 years old or older

She is Raising One Child:

·        54% of custodial mothers are raising one child from the absent parent

·        46% have two or more children living with them

U.S. Census Bureau in November, 2009

And, so it goes...

Here Are The Statistics Part 1 of 2

Wow, I'm really embarrassed it has been way too long since I last made a post, sorry! I did mention in my last post that I was going to post some statistics. It seems that everyone is looking for stats but as I mentioned in my last post statistics are nothing more then numbers and graphs. I will put some stats here and let you process the stats and then I hope I can hear from some of you leave a comment (if you do please make sure you click on publish or else no one will ever see your comment not even me!).

This coming Thursday (the 19th of July) I shall come back and give you more stats! Next week on Tuesday, July 24th I will give you my thoughts on the numbers I have posted today and for Thursday the 19th of July. 


4 sets of statistics are listed below: 


1.

2.
In the U.S. there are 13.6 million single parents and they are responsible for raising 21.8 million children, the U.S. Census 2009 says this is so. Did you catch these numbers are from 2009? You can break this number down this way... 1 out of every 4th child comes from a one-parent family!

3.

79.5% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed.

90% of Custodial single fathers are gainfully employed

U.S. Census 2009

4.

Single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; the amount of single fathers has grown by 60% in the last ten years alone (www.usalegalcare.com)!

OK, so you may have known these statistics and you may not have till now either way they are out there for anyone to find including our kids! 

Take some time read these numbers, take them in and if you are compelled leave a comment or two or wait till Thursday and then comment on all the different numbers. Let me know what you think or what they mean to you!.

And, so it goes...

Statistics Are Nothing More Then Numbers!

So the picture below is my son, we had been out at the park all day then went out to dinner (which was a double treat that day). He was so tired he could barely stay awake long enough to eat his dinner, his head barely missed his plate. Aren't they just angels when they are sleeping? 

This picture made me remember about all the trials and tribulations my one parent family went through and all the statistics we read about regarding one parent families that are not what I would say positive. In fact it is heart breaking to look at all the statistics out there. The thing is I don't want individuals to be thinking wow this is horrible or if you are a single parent for you to think this means your kids will not amount to much. You ask me we concentrate way to much on the negative side of everything! I would like to give you information on the good side or the lighter side of being a one parent family! 

And, I will start with this picture:
I won't lie there were times when it was really tough and always knowing I had to be the good cop and the bad cop all rolled into one could have driven me crazy! There were times my son and I would be so mad at one another we could barely speak more less look at each other. However, even when situations were at it's worse I always loved him and I always told him "I might be mad at you but I still love you and I know you are a good a good kid!" Yes, there were times where we were really mad at each other but he always knew that I was not leaving nor sending him away and I knew we would some how get through it. So, it's pictures like this that make me smile and remember how on that very day he did not want to go to the park, he did not want to walk all over and he just did not want to go. But of course he had no choice but to go and in the end he had so much fun he almost never stopped which is why he fell asleep right after eating. 

Back to today: on a Saturday afternoon a week ago, my son sent me a text and it said “Hi mom! How are you? I Miss you. How have you been?” That text put such a smile on my face and then I got to thinking... back in the day when my son and daughter were growing up we had our really bad days but we also had great days as well. Back then I use think how will this all work out, how will I find the money to buy what's needed, how will I be able to raise my kids to be strong? But in the end it all worked out my kids are strong and they are loving individuals that I am so proud of! There are still times now that I wonder will this or that work out for me then I remember when it was just me and my kids and just like back then it always worked out! 

So being a single parent was tough “yes” but it was also so rewarding to see my two kids grow up and to see them as they are now and be so proud of them makes my heart so big and so happy. And, to this day though they are both grown they both do little things like sending a text or giving me a call to just say I love you or miss you, we are still as close with each other now as we were then and I imagine we always will be! 


I guess, I just wanted to share that being a one parent family is not all bad!

Remember this post when you start reading more of my blogs that have some pretty hefty stats that are not so nice! 

And, so it goes...