A Gift For A Gift...

I was at a meeting with a group of women last week and we were all introducing ourselves when one of them told us how she admired her father for all the work he has done to help her move to California and for her education. She talked about how she wants to give back to her dad not to give back money per say but to show him her appreciation for all he has done for her. It was so sweet and it brought back a wonderful story of my daughter, a pair of earrings how a gift became another gift and in turn another gift.

I had been dating this guy for about three years and he was a wonderful man unfortunately we broke up which was sad for all three of us (this is another story for another day). When we broke-up I tried to give him back some of wonderful presents that he gave me but he would not take them back. One of them was some beautiful diamond earrings (rather large ones). He had told me to keep them that one day if I need money I could always pawn them.

About two years later my daughter was in the 8th grade and was very excited about the big 8th grade trip to Washington DC and New York. The cost was steep however, I knew how much it meant to her to go and be part of the group going and considering she was an excellent student. Money was tight but I knew I would figure out how to raise the funds needed.

I took a cheese cake I had made to work for a pot-luck event and everyone absolutely loved it telling me how delicious it was and even non cheesecake eaters like it! The next day my boss said, "you know Marian why not sell your cheese cakes to help raise money for your daughter's trip." That night after dinner and after the kids went to bed I told my sister what my boss had said and she also thought it was a great idea! So I started working on it right away, finding out the cost and packaging etc... I then asked my sister if she would take samples to work with her, of course she said yes and I took samples to work  as well. It was great I began receiving orders right away I could barely make them fast enough! The money was coming in and I was paying off the cost of the trip it was all very exciting. However, I was short by about three hundred dollars and the deadline was within three days I knew more orders would come in but not in time. I tried to redo my budget but there was no money to be found and I knew we all had worked so hard from both kids, my sister and friends that helped to get the word out. I was sitting on my bed trying to figure out what next... I got up went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and glaring at me were my beautiful diamond earrings! I could hear Bill saying if you ever need money take the earrings to a pawn shop. I took them in and received $500.00. I was amazed and excited and a bit sad all rolled into one. Once I got home and told my daughter we have the last payment for her trip she let out a squeal and hugged me so tight and said, "Thank You mommy, your the best mommy in the world!" I had money to finish paying the trip off on time and a little extra for bills and to purchase things she needed for the trip. She  had so much fun and upon her trip she must have told me thank you at least 100 times a day always letting me know she was the luckiest girl in the world.

She never knew what I had done with my earrings and though I always said I would go back and them I never did. It just never made sense to me to save up that much money only to buy back those earrings. The way I looked at it was... as beautiful as they were when I need some money they came in very handy. I purchased some fake diamond earrings and no one knew what I had done except my sister and two close friends.

Years later when my daughter was in high school she got her first job which I allowed since she had good grades and was on the honor roll as well as having several honor classes. She begged me to allow her to find a job and I agreed with one stipulation that if her school work suffered or she got sick from doing too much she would have to quit. She promised me that she would continue her school work with out losing her honor roll status or her honor classes and that she would not get sick from doing too much. She wanted to save money to purchase her own car and she knew she not only needed the money for the car but for her auto insurance as well. She found a position as a waitress, she worked and she did a fabulous job at work and at school (again this is another story for another day as well), I was very proud of her.

One evening I was sitting out in the patio with my friends and cousins we were outside talking and laughing after dinner. My son was busy playing with the dog and my daughter was in her room with her music on. Out of the blue one of my friends asked me about the earrings, she wanted to know if I ever went back to buy them back. I replied no and that the ones I was wearing were fake and after all these years my little support group heard the story. I was not worried since my daughter was in her room with music blaring and my son was playing with his dog.

Later that same year on Mother's Day I received a small gift box all wrapped-up with a card from my daughter and son which said. I might not be able to purchase the same size as the ones you gave up for me all so long ago but I hope these will do. When I am older and can afford bigger ones I will take these in and get you larger ones. She went on to tell me how much she loved me and admired me for what I have done for her and her brother over the years. She wanted me to know how thankful they both were. I wondered  what was in this small box, when I opened it and my eyes immediately filled with tears. As they are now just thinking about it, sitting in the small grey box was a pair of the most beautiful earrings I had ever seen they were smaller but to me they were so much bigger then the original ones! I will treasure these diamond earrings for ever, I kissed her and hugged her and my son and asked how did you know? She explained that on that night when we were outside talking she came out of her room when none of us were looking and overheard the entire story. She saved her money and went with her brother to buy the earrings and the ones she wanted to buy was way out of her budget but the sales lady told her you can always come back and buy up.

These are my beautiful diamond earrings

I will never trade these up because they are just the right size - nothing will ever be more beautiful to me!! 

So a gift that was given to me was turned into a gift for my daughter and in turn many years later was given back to me in a different manner that meant so much more to me and continues to symbolize the love between my children and I. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this story and if you have a cute story about gifts and love between you and your child or between you and your parent please share with us and leave a comment. Thank you for stopping by and reading.

And, so it goes...

    

Writers Block or Fear?

I would like to say I have not posted anything new because I had writers block, that I could not put ink to paper or fingers to keys :). I would like to say I just could not figure out what to write about but that’s a joke because if you ask anyone who knows me I never run out of things to say! And, the mere fact that this blog is all about how I raised two incredible children into two incredible adults as well as the trails and tribulations of building this amazing online membership community for one-parent families’ means I should never be out of words!

So then what was the real reason for my lack of posting?

I had been working on obtaining a partner who seemed excited about working with me in getting the business side of this blog up and running. He was going to help us move much faster then what we had been moving on. He had advised that he had the money to help us Launch sooner. However, I’m guessing this person is just busy with their own business and life and it is not their vision/dream. This means our partnership has taken a back seat and we have not made any attempts to solidify the partnership meaning there has not been any further discussion of financial support.

To be completely honest this made me feel as though I was in this alone and doing it on my own which in turn made me shut down a bit. Hey I’m only human J   

Then I thought... "Wait a minute" I can't be sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to validate that this is a business that is needed when I know first hand that it is! When I have e-mails, phone calls and surveys that tells me it is needed and that families are out there waiting for it to happen. I allowed myself to get lost and feel the fear of building a business. I was allowing the fear of "how am I going to do this" get to me but I woke up! Last night at a business academy class we had a speaker her name is Deborah Peters and she gave me the ole one-two punch! She reminded me that “if it is to be, it is up to me”

Would it be easier to find someone who has money to give, who sees the same vision as I do and help us move at a faster pace? Well of course the answer is YES but as a Peak Performer who goes after their dream, their vision they wait for no one and they figure it out. My word for the day, the week, the month is Collaboration! That is how I started this and that is how I’m going to get this business off the ground!

I have met so many wonderful individuals who get excited when they hear about the site and what we have done so far. I can’t begin to tell you how many connections I have obtained from individuals who just want to help! Even during this short period of time when I was going through my lack of faith period I never gave up entirely. I attended events, jumped on conference calls, was a guest on a local TV show (you can see it here http://youtu.be/qFQ4O30Jnf8) and I spoke about “Parenting on your own” and as I mentioned I did obtain some pretty amazing contacts!

So now it is time to get back up dust myself off and get back to work… You see I was never on my own and I just gave into that fear that made me feel as though I was.

I truly believe and know that this business will be of great service to One-Parent Families every where! The sooner we get this business up and running the sooner we can begin to redefine what type of outcomes a one-parent family can expect to see from their children and from their own lives as the parent of a one-parent family!

I would also like to announce besides getting this site up and running we are obtaining the information regarding the building of a non-profit sector to this business. The non-profit sector will address education and housing for single parents and their families we will especially be working with teen moms to help them understand that the cycle of life can be changed. We will also be open to assisting single moms & dads who are parenting on their own and need extra assistance. Of course we have a lot of research and planning to do this and most likely will not launch till after we get the website up and running, though you just never know! If there is anyone out there who knows all about building a non-profit speak up and contact us at inquiries@parentingonyourown.com or leave us a response here on the blog with your name and e-mail address.  

We are working once again with urgency in order to have a Launch date mid to late April, which means no more days of fear! We shall be working right on through any new fears that may arise because I will not forget that “if it is to be, it is up to me” with a little help from my friends course!

So excited to see this moving once again!

I will be posting again in two days about a lovely story regarding my daughter, some earrings and love! Hmmm, maybe I should have considered posting that story today since it is Valentine’s Day. However I feel that what I wrote today was from my heart and it is a gift I give to each of you who read this today. The gift is… sharing with you that fear is nothing more then a situation and any situation can be dealt with if we chose to. We need to walk through the fear and know that we are never really alone or doing it on our own because there are so many wonderful people out there just waiting to help. We just need to allow ourselves to be open, be ready to accept help and to walk through the fear! So if you are dealing with something that is blocking you from getting what you want… change your thought, make a paradigm shift in your mind and walk through the fear!

What has stopped you from moving forward with what you want?

What fear have you been holding onto that has turned into a story?

Or how were you able to push through the fear or the block and move forward?

Share with us your story we would all love to hear how you walked through your fears. Or if you need a little extra help to overcome your fear leave us a note at inquiries@parentingonyourown.com     

I am so excited to be back in the game and I will continue to play as a Peak Performer because I know how much “Parenting on your own” will assist one-parent families that want help and are looking for help!  

By the way we are working on Plan B in terms of financing and it’s pretty exciting!

And, so it goes…