Believing and Santa

This time of the year can be so exciting and yet so daunting there are so many things to think about and worry if we allow. We want to give our kids everything and yet for a lot of families that is impossible and when you are a one parent family it may seem even more impossible! However, we do this right it can all work in our favor and that is what I always did with my two kids.

There were times I simply would wanted to crawl up into a ball and just cry because there was no way I was going to be able to purchase the gifts that my kids wanted. However, I had to Believe that somehow it would workout and you know somehow it always did. I would end up receiving a bonus or a friend or family member would buy one of the gifts they asked for. There were also times when my own children would come to me and tell me they did not believe any more. They would tell me that Santa was not real and that life was just hard, they would say they know that I was the one who put the gifts under the tree. The first time they told me this, my first thought was oh good now I can stop worrying about it all. I could tell them the truth and then explain that I cannot always give them what they want and that perhaps we could even dismiss the entire thing. Believe me these thoughts when through my head so quickly as I sat starring at my daughter then my son at different times of course. But then I would think if I did this then what would happen to their belief system? How would I teach them that even when things look really bad that they should still believe and knowing as they got older if they had no belief system how would they cope? Sure as we get older we understand a lot of things but do we not still believe in good, do we not believe that truth will triumph over evil? That we can make a difference that we can accomplish what we want despite what the world throws at us?  And, that it is OK to fall but to know we can get up!

And, so with a deep breath here is what my answer was to them…

Well let’s see is there really a Santa Clause, should you really believe in all of this and should you believe what your friends are telling you at school? Well it goes like this… I am much older then you and I still believe and I believe in Santa Clause and you know what Christmas is always here and presents are always wrapped up and placed under the tree every year despite anything that is going on. Have I always received exactly what I wanted maybe not always but I always would find something there for me that I wanted! So, here is what I say to you as long as you believe there will always be a gift under the tree for you and sometimes it will be exactly what you want and other times it maybe not exactly what you want but it will be something you want or need. This I can tell you in all honesty will happen and it will happen throughout your whole life even if at some point you have to make it happen!

Once this conversation happened they never asked again if there was a Santa or advised me that they did not believe! We had some great Christmas mornings where we all received exactly what we wanted and other times when we did not and it was always OK. I over heard my son speaking to a friend in his room he was about 7 years old and they were talking about Christmas and Santa. The friend said something along the line of awe come on there is no Santa and you are way too old to believe that. My son replied with “Oh no as long as I believe there will always be a gift under the tree for me!” Then he said, “I’m not really sure about Santa and I’m pretty sure that my mom is doing it all but I have never caught here putting the gifts under the tree. I also really don’t mind and if it makes her happy and my sister and I are happy then does it really matter? I will just believe” Then of course he said but really I know it’s my mom and they both laughed and I smiled as I stood near the door way of the room.

Now mind you sometimes they each only received one gift from Santa and sometimes it was small, yet they never complained. To this day if you ask my kids if they believe and if Santa is real they will tell you as long as I believe there will always be something under the tree for me!

We create life and we help it along and we should all be helping our children see that so that they can continue doing the same thing. And, so yes I believe in Santa Clause and I Believe! Don’t let the noise of our society take away your belief system and especially your child (children’s) desire to want to believe!

If Santa is not part of your Holiday Season that’s OK, but what ever it is believe in it and help your children to believe in who they are and in the world at large.

Can you share with all the readers what it is you do or can do to help grow your children's Belief System?

And, so it goes…  

Attitude of Gratitude

I had a very last week was very interesting it was a great week and this week I know will be even better. My attitude is back on gratitude and you know that can only mean more things to be grateful for, So, with that said yesterday I saw my first red bucket from the Salvation Army and I made sure I made my little deposit. Each year I never just walk by acting like I don’t see or hear the bell ringing so that I don’t have to drop something in. Every bucket I pass this season I shall drop what I can into it and be grateful for all that I have. My kids learned to give because of my giving attitude kids are all about mimicking what we do.

When my daughter was 2 we lived in the Azores at the time I was still married and our two years there was an adventure to say the least! I believe it is where I learned to truly be grateful for what I have. I must admit that I did become so overwhelmed with guilt because I could not give to every beggar that came to our door step. We arrived in the Azores in December to join her dad and anyone who knows me and my kids Christmas is our time of the year.  I love helping others even more during this time of the year so to see so many individuals and families needing help concerned me so much. I kept trying to help everyone who came to our door but was running out of food and my money. My husband at the time told me I had to stop that we were going to end up having to beg if I kept trying to feed the entire island!

The following Sunday after services I went up to the pastor and asked him how do I feed everyone? How do I not feel guilty about having what we have and seeing what they don’t have! How do I not give when it makes me feel so bad?

He said Marian you are so sweet and it is so good that you want to help all those in need but your husband is right you cannot feed everyone! He suggested I select one person or one family to help and to concentrate on just them. He continued to advise me that I do not need to keep giving them money that the families here need help with food and clothing as well. He suggested that I save our leftovers for who ever I choose to help, to buy maybe something small for them at the store when and only when I can.

I chose a family and they were the only ones I helped and shortly afterwards all the others stopped coming to our door! It was nice and I was able to breath again and feel that I was helping my daughter always helped me give whatever it was I was giving that day.

One day as we were in the house due to the rains myself and my ex were sitting down reading and our daughter was on her tricycle. She stopped and asked me for a bag and she put it on the handlebars then rode her bike to her dad then me. She stopped in front of us held out her bag and asked us each of us if we had food, U.S. money or Escudos. We looked at each other and said “Oh no she is begging!” we laughed you know kids follow what they see and hear! She did learn that to give thank goodness and not to beg as she got older! 

The Azores was not all about beggars by the way it is a beautiful island with people people in it and to this day my daughter remembers the joy and the fun we had their! We were stationed there for three years and my son was born there! 

What are you doing this Holiday season to help those that are not as fortunate as you?

And, so it goes…