2013 All Packed Up & Ready To Be Released!

I am in California and so I am on Pacific Standard Time which means right now it is only 6:38 P.M. Still time for me to make my final post for 2013! 

I could not let the year go by without a post to end the year and so I would like to start here...

The day after Christmas December 26, 2013 I was at a friends house when a conversation began between two individuals and soon the entire table was talking about the topic. It was about a young mom going through the roller coaster of life dealing with her two children and trying to figure out how to feel OK, about it all. Dealing with an ex, her children's dad and their feelings about the entire situation and how she the mom was dealing with it all.  It was a tough conversation and for those of you who are single parents you know what I mean.  I don't want to go into details here since I don't have permission but it was tough - when your mom dealing with the kids and their feelings about their dad and you and the entire situation well it's just not good.  Everyone gave their input and everyone told her she was doing a good job and that she was not alone.  Well lets face it first of all everyone always has a great way of telling us it's all good and your doing everything right but when your laying awake at night and the lights are out - your not thinking it's all good!
And, yes it is really great to have friends and family around but again when your home at night alone it is just you making the final decisions, which makes you feel alone in the situation. She said that is how she felt!

I shared with her that I felt the same way at first and at first I too would lay awake at night feeling alone in the world and trying to figure out how I was going to make it all work!  But then I started to make connections, I made friends who I could confide in, I sought after individuals who I looked up to for guidance and reassurance.  I went through counseling because if I was going to help my kids get strong then I needed to be strong and I began to learn to trust my gut, my heart and my head.  I turned to my community for support and when there was none I created it!  I told her she was making great choices for her kids and doing some pretty good things and to be easy on herself.  So much was said that night but that was a conversation between her and I, in fact when I spoke to her I did not make it a part of the conversation but directed it right to her.

All of this reminded me why I started this Parenting On Your Own blog.. I remember the nights of feeling like it would never end and thinking how in the heck would I ever get us through this thing called life.  I wanted to share what I had done right, wrong, or almost had it perfect answers to situations of raising a One-Parent Family!

I am so glad I choose to share what my family of three went through with all of you and if by some chance I have helped anyone... well then I did a good thing. I always say "I don't want to go through all that I did for naught" I would love to think that by sharing someone will find some answers to their own situations.

In 2013:

I really pushed to get more info into this blog. I invited others to come on in and share with all of you their stories, though at this time we only had one person, it's a start!

I wanted to work this blog at a 100% but found that I was not quite there yet. Though I am excited to see where it can go!

I opened up Mama Cheesecake, my passion is great and I love these cheesecakes (mamacheesecake.com), they are how I raised money for my kids when they were small. It is how we got to take vacations, send the kids on special school trips, and so much more. Once I left the cheesecakes behind to go into the insurance world a part of me felt lost.  Figuring out how to take my life experience as a single mom into a blog or into a blog that could help other one-parent families helped.  But when I really felt like I had to get out of the insurance world in early April and a plan or thought I had to make Parenting On Your Own a full site with paid membership fell though, I felt pretty bad.  It was my cousin's daughter that suggested; no she told me I needed to start a cheesecake business.  It took a while for me to wrap my head around it but you know it felt right and, by the end of April Mama Cheesecake was born!
If it was not for winning a spot on the Count Me In (http://www.countmein.org) Business Accelerator Course with People Biz (http://www.peoplebizinc.com/about/) made this pretty darn easy!  I learned so much and the course was amazing I knew what I needed to do and how to do it. In fact currently this business takes care of it self which means this year it will start to pay for me and an employee to start with! All of this was started by becoming a member of National Latina Business Women’s Association-Los Angeles (http://www.nlbwa-la.org/).  You see doing what I use to do for my kids while raising them is what I now do for me!

Also in 2013...

I was selected to be a part of The Restart Project with Gwyneth Paltrow and Tracy Anderson (renowned trainer) produced by Ryan Seacrest’s production company.  Gwyneth Paltrow and Tracy Anderson spend time with women who’ve overcome hardship, injury, and setbacks to triumph in the face of adversity. We’ll hear their inspiring stories firsthand, whether fighting back from a career-ending injury or transforming their lives and bodies through diet and exercise.  This is an online featured series find it here:  http://on.aol.com/show/the-restart-project-518018512/episode/518030361

I am blessed with an amazing family, friends, mentors and coaches and some pretty Awesome kids, no less!  Life is pretty darn good, no great!

And, for days gone by here are my two little ones - of course they are much older now days and I am so proud of them!

I can't wait for 2014!

For 2014 I will be living Powerfully a life that defies the predictable!
And, my motto will be:

       And, so it goes...

We All Can Choose to Restart!

I’m sure almost all of us have gone through some sort of difficulty that at first made us feel like there was no way out, right?  Or that perhaps we could get out of it but we would never be the same again.  These are all so real thoughts and feelings and if possible I would wave my wand and keep bad things from happening to all of us (this is what I use to tell my kids when things would happen to them).  However, we also all know that it is by going through some of our toughest times that we grow the most.  It would not matter if the issue was health, finances, business,/work, a relationship and the list can go on.  Sometimes we are hit with more then one issue or incident at a time which can make us feel like it will never end. 

A good friend of mine up in Northern CA always says “Break downs bring break through” and I have shared this many of times.      

Something else I always have said is “I want to know that what I am going through right now is not for naught” “ I would like to know that some how I can be of assistance by sharing what I have gone through and my outcome in order to help someone else.  If I can make a difference in someone else’s life then it was worth it (so to speak); which is why I created this blog.  Maybe there is one thing someone will read that will help them make changes in their own life or in the life of their child/children.

So where am I going with all of this… I was approached to submit my info for a new web series - on.aol.com about women who are restarting their life after some pretty incredible issues.  I thought OK, why not maybe this will be my way to really helping others; that perhaps someone will watch and will be inspired to move forward to their successes.  Or perhaps they will be inspired to tell their story which could in turn help someone out.  

I truly believe we each have choices in our lives to make and these choices happen every day we can choose to move forward in a positive manner or we can choose to feeling lousy and being miserable with our lives.  We also should be thinking about the fact that what ever choice we make we are also teaching our kids to do the same thing.  I truly believe that is what always kept me from falling all the way to floor and not be able to get back up. Even as our kids grow into adults they are watching us!

Do we want our children growing up feeling like victims and allowing victimization to grow in their lives?  Well not me I wanted my kids to grow up being responsible for their actions and for them to always remember they have choices!  It really does not matter if our children are in a two-parent or one-parent family how they turn out is what they learn from the adults in their life.  As parents we are able to give them the guidance and tools they need to make good choices in their lives in order for them to know and understand that it is up to them to make their life as good as they want it to be!    

Unfortunately, there seems to be more bad then good highlighted in our news, on TV, and periodicals. We see and read about bad statistics, we are shown the ugliness of the world - instead of the good!  My intention has always been to show that there is good despite what is going on around us.  We will have to go out of our way to find it sometimes and we may have to have a vision that we never lose sight of but the good is there, I promise!

With all that said I would like to announce I was selected to be part of an amazing group of women who share their stories of falling but the show is not about falling to the ground but about how we all got back up and kept on going! How the word victim is not in our vocabulary and how despite things happening that were almost unbearable we all Restarted our lives!  I am honored and humbled to be one of the women being highlighted.

It is a new web series called The Restart Project.  Gwyneth Paltrow and fitness expert Tracy Anderson joined forces to bring this program to life and it is Produced by Ryan Seacrest Productions.  The Restart Project premieres December 16 (today) you can find it at on.aol.com.  I don’t know when my segment will run but it is well worth it to watch the entire series as it unfolds over the next several weeks the stories are amazing!  For those who do not know me by name I am Marian Lopez and now you will know who to watch out for on the series.

Here is the trailer for the show:

http://on.aol.com/video/the-restart-project-trailer-518030361

And, so it goes…

What Kind of Messages Do You Send to Your Kids!

I found these baby tees at a shop in a mall

 you may not be able to see the writing on the tees till you enlarge the picture.  The wording is not  what I would call up lifting and motivating, which is why I'm on my soap box once again! 

I know we all say things and later think why did we say that, right.  I could also just say well these are just tees what's the big deal?  

Well to me it is a big deal this is how we begin to teach our children the one wearing the tee as well as any other child and yes teen.  "My mom can kick your Dads..." I do understand that most of the tees are simple and really are not saying much but here is the thing...

Our children should be wearing tees that say things like "When I'm older I'm going to College",  "My mom graduated from high school", "I'm getting straight "A's" at school, how about you?"  

We create the building blocks for our kids, we start them on their road to success... my kids were always wanting to know why a word like "shut-up" was not allowed in our home.  I explained to them that saying words that are rude and hurtful is bad!  How would you like someone to yell at you "shut-up"?  

I heard how an entire family was changed by changing what was said to the children in regards to school instead of asking "are you going to keep going to school?" they asked their kids  "what school are you going to be going to after high school?"  

What do you do to help mold the minds of your children? What do you put in front of them to see and read that will point them in a good direction with positive thoughts? 

I know I have hit this before but it is so important... what we say, do and act in front of our kids is what they will take in and will become! 

And, so it goes...

My Thought RE: How Does "I Am Malala" Relate To Single Parenting & Family?

The way I look at it is… Wait did you view the short video?  I hope so because if you did not then this may not make sense.

You see not only did I recognize this is a young girl who is just blessed with all sorts of strength and belief but she has a dad who has been right there.  She does speak of her mother but clearly states her mother’s thoughts and beliefs are traditional.

Her father sang to her all the time of how strong she is and of all the wonderful things she was going to be doing with her life and so is it not a surprise that she is doing what she is doing?  I think not!

We all whether we are one-parent or two-parent families must at all time be careful of what we say to our kids or when we are around them.  We help breath life into their thoughts and beliefs and as they grow they will find their own thoughts. We give them a foundation to build on and that can be good or bad depending on what you do and say around your kids!

If you speak of being lost, being down and out, of not having enough money or time or the oh poor me left to figure everything out then that is what you are giving to your kids.  Now trust me sometimes we don’t even realize that is being said or it’s done without thought so don’t go getting all upset with me.  However, now and in this time we should all be aware about how important it is to be positive even when there seems to be no reason to be positive.  Now on those days when the world seems to be caving in! When there is more bills and month then there is money or when you just are tired of carrying everything on your shoulders you have to let out a scream, right?  Then find yourself a group, some good friends who will allow you to fall and will be there to help dust you off as you get back up and ready to get back in there to fight!  Because our kids and ourselves are so worth it!

If Malala did not have a dad who continues to support her choices and who spoke belief and faith into her was not around would she be the Malala that we see in this video? Would she be a little girl fighting for her rights?  I honestly don’t know!

As single parents we must be that parent for our kids and if you just are not strong enough to be that parent then get someone who is that can be around your children to help guide them.  Like a good friend, a sister or brother, what about Big Boys or Big Girls Club and if you are not from the US find a similar club in your country.  But help get the right type of motivation to your children!

I was so moved by this young girl but even more for the father that she has! 

Let’s all remember to be strong for our kids and show them that we are not victims, that we all can aspire to do and be whoever we want to be!

What do you think about this? I would love to hear create a comment below.

And, so it goes

How Does "I Am Malala" Relate To Single Parenting & Family?

I just viewed the 20/20 show regarding the young girl who fought for her right and all girls as well as boys to attend school and learn! This is the story of Malala Yousafzai, and her courage against the Taliban.

Now you may be wondering what does this have to do with Parenting especially as a single parent right.  Well this is easy it has everything to do with parenting and I feel a single parent can learn a lot from this and their children.

Take about ten minutes to watch this video and see for yourself the amazing story about not just this young girl but about family and parenting.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/teenage-schoolgirl-20550810

The father of Malala has been a strong force in her life from the time she was born to today.  Whether you are a one-parent or a two-parent family you can learn lots from this video regarding supporting your children and giving them strength.

What do you see that shows how Malala’s father helped to install strength and her positive outlook/faith that holds fast despite anything and everything that happens to her?

Next Saturday I shall give my input as to what I see.

Pass this link around lets all work together to share this story and help children all around the world!!! Not to mention our very own children in fact when you watch this do so with your children, nieces, nephews and/or grandchildren!

And, so it goes… 

A Little Today and A Little of Yesterday...

I am currently getting ready to see my new business take off and I can't begin to tell how excited I am!  I'm working with a program that has given me a lift and I don't think they even are aware of the lift they gave me. I'm always saying how if we believe and are able to some how let go of the crazy things in our lives as well as anything negative with in doors just start to open.  You can't just sit there and expect it to happen we have to go out and create it and that's when the magic happens because you allow your faith to carry you and your willing to close your eyes and leap (wow, sorry that was a lot of ands).

I told you all how lost I have felt about losing my aunt up in Northern CA, she was so much to me not just my aunt but a friend and a mentor.  I could always call her and when ever I drove back up North I would get so excited as I got onto Highway 680 because I always felt like I was coming home (to my other home).  I knew we would get to sit and talk and talk and we talked about a lot of things and I have missed her and knowing that on my next drive she would not be there saddened me quite a bit. It had been hard for me to get back into anything then through a friend who really had no idea of what she did introduced me to an individual.

 This is my aunt and my family at one of our last family vacations to their home.

 Who introduced me to a program which I really can't talk about just yet but once I'm officially selected then I can share, promise.  Just the possibility of working with this program helped me to get excited once again to get my new business "Mama Cheesecake" off and running.  I also realized there is a second half to my aunt and that is my uncle he is still with us and I am sure he is really a lot more lost then I.  I also realized that I can go up and see him and still be excited to come up, he is an amazing business man (retired) and I can ask him for suggestions and help which is a very good thing!  Also they both were really excited to see me reach my success after having several set-backs they felt I was heading into the right direction.  They cautioned me on a few things which I have taken care of since then. This all means that Mama Cheesecake is up and running with no stops engine is full of steam!

In fact I just found out that I will be receiving a call regarding my second account that is asking for a weekly order, woohoo!  Now this is not official but my source is a pretty darn good one and they already told her (my daughter).  Also I reached out to several places requesting the opportunity to do a tasting with them in order to see about making them one of my new accounts!  Hey at this rate I will be needing an assistant that can help me bake (for pay of course), this is all so very exciting.  OK, another great thing is that I also just got off the phone with the Greek Theater to begin the steps to see if they will carry Mama Cheesecake!  Just to have the opportunity and experience is sooooooo cool!!!  

OK, so for the secret program I had to pull together pictures that can be used to help tell my story and it was totally a trip down memory lane. My heart was filled with so much love just looking at the pictures that paved my road and brought me here where I'm at today.

My pictures took me all the way to when my babies were babies, they took me to Germany and the Azores where my kids were born.  I saw places where I lived and places where I visited.  I saw happy faces and tears on faces and everything in between not to mention all the wonderful individuals that have touched my life in so many ways!  I got to go down memory lane of my days as a wife and then as a single mom and it was so good to see.

I got to review over and over again both of my kids growing-up once again, I saw their smiles and their tears and their excitement along with their accomplishments along their way.  I also found home made cards and notes from my kids to me one that took me all the way back to when I first was separated from my ex.  It was a card from my daughter telling me how she was going to help me feel better and smile more once again.  Which reminded me once again how important it is to share with our kids but to be careful not to overload them with our messes.  We need to remember that it is OK, to share with then that we are sad but that we will be OK.  I want to say there were too many times that I wanted to keep from telling them anything and yet from that card I could see I did not express to them that I was sad due to the break-up but that I knew all would be OK. I wanted to shield them from the hurt going on and yet they knew along!  Our kids no matter how young they are can see and feel what is going on with in our families.

Do you ever wonder if you did the right thing?
Do you ever wonder if you could have done better?
Do you ever think would I do this again?

I have many times thought about these very questions and the answer is always the same!
Yes, I know that I did do the right thing!
No, I don't wonder if I could have done better; I know that I did the very best and that I always consulted with others. Some things we just can't stop like the bruised knees, the heart ache, the triumph over their successes, etc... These are the things that helped to shape our kids what we can do is guide them through it so that they are not hurt to the point of scars!
OH, I don't even have to think if I would do it again because the answer is always the same in a heart beat I would do it again!!!  Now if I could go back and do it knowing everything I know now would I make minor adjustments and the answer is absolutely!  Please keep in mind I would only do minor adjustments.

My daughter and my son have told me over and over again that they are who they are because of what I have taught them and most importantly shown them.  So if I would go back and change everything they would not be who they are now; who they are now are amazing strong willed, intelligent adults, who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it.

I love my life and all of it's opportunities and I am so deeply grateful for my past, it is who created me as I am today!  And, now it's time to get back to Mama Cheesecake, woohoo!!

And, so it goes...

A Lil Bit About Business & A Lil Bit About Family

Wow and wow, so much has gone on since I last posted. I had to figure out how to move forward with the passing of my aunt, I thought I had it figured out but only fell backwards. However, I do understand that life does go on and she was all about life and she wanted to see me reach my success and that is what I'm holding on to and pushing myself out. I had been staying in and not doing a whole lot and there has been so many things going on with the cheesecake business

http://mamacheesecake.com/ 

which means I really need to shake a leg (hey that's what she would say!). So once again I am dusting myself off and getting right back up and you know I am going to shake a leg!

I had this wonderful opportunity to do a cheesecake tasting with vegans and if Mama Cheesecake can pull it off and create a dynamite tasting vegan cheesecake it will be so worth it.  I have two recipes I am working with and making changes along the way giving it my spin in hopes to give it the original Mama Cheesecake taste. 

I am also working on the website and will have it completed by the end of this month as planned I am currently working on the menu. I could cut and paste my current menu onto the page but if I do that it will look like a cut & paste so instead I'm learning how to use a plugin to help me make it look professional! 

I was thinking back to when I was making cheesecakes when my kids were much younger and it's crazy that I am finding myself doing this baking thing. I somehow feel that we all sometimes have to go down one street only to find our way back to where we should have been, does that make sense? 

Have you ever found yourself running in one direction to get away from something only to find yourself right back where you were? For instance when I left the city I grew-up in I said "see ya later" I had no thought of ever returning for anything more then a visit! And, yet after my divorce guess where I ended up at? Yup, right back there but you know I truly feel it was for a reason so many things happened that has actually helped me to become who I am now and that's not a bad thing. In fact it is a very good thing and I am so excited about the future... I know there will be other ups and downs but I and all of us should always remember that there is always the up side of the down side, lol, it does sound funny but it is so true. We get so stuck in the down side we don't know how to get back up again and we find ourselves falling further down rather then up. We attract more and more things that makes us sad, mad and upset and we continue to feel like there is no way out. the good news is there is a way out! We just have to want it bad enough that we are willing to make some serious changes in our lives; though it's not easy it must be done to make the hand of fate move in the direction of positive happenings!!!

While raising my kids I had to always remember that and trust me there were days I just had no idea how it would turn out. I never thought I would end up turning my cheesecake recipe into a thriving business and yet that is what I have done. I really believe raising a family as a single parent or with two parents is so very similar to raising a new business from the ground up. There is so much to look after!!!

I told a friend today that I was all over the place... I was creating some new cheesecakes for a tasting on Friday with vegans and I'm hoping they like my vegan cheesecakes! I was working on this post for the blog as well as working on the website. I told her it reminded me of the days when I use to juggle work, parenting, and home front and yet I can say I still miss the those days of... mom, mom, mom come here or I have to have a new dress or how about I really need you to be on time to my performance! How did we ever stay sane? Oh yes, the same way I do it now - pull my hair out (not really, just joking!!), by having the faith and understanding that somehow it would all turn out. Yes having faith! 

And, so it goes or as my aunt would say... "Carry on" 

And, A Business Was Born

First an foremost I apologize for writing such a long post... I shall try really hard to start making my post shorter!

I did state last week that my next post would be about my new business that will allow me to continue with this blog and with growing a positive community for one parent families in order for them to now feel like they are Parenting on their own!

So when my kids were small I was able to get my mom to come and watch my kids after school till I got home from work. I worked for a non-profit for ten years and they were always having pot-lucks and of course everyone was always trying to out do each other with what they brought. My mom knew I liked to bake and cook so she said I should come up with my own recipe for something since I was always changing recipes. I came across a recipe for cheesecake and since I truly didn’t care for cheesecake I thought why not create one that I would like. I began playing with flavors and ingredients once I came up with one I liked I took I took it to the very next pot-luck and wow did it get rave reviews! So much so that they asked me to make another with a different flavor and of course once again playing with flavors and ingredients that weekend till I came up with a recipe I liked. As soon as the next pot-luck came around I took it with me. Well of course it was a huge hit and it was at this point that my boss who knew I needed to raise money for my daughter’s 8^th grade trip, suggested that I sell the cheesecakes to help raise the money needed.

To my surprise I did so with great success. I continued to sell my cheesecakes as a means to raising money not just for my daughter’s 8^th grade trip but for both of their activities. I did this trough their elementary and middle school periods which helped us out so very much. Here is a picture of one of the cakes 

I use to do this cute one for Valentine’s Day.

However, after ten years of working with the non-profit I was downsized due to the non-profit losing their funding for the program I over saw it was a scary time for me. The interesting thing is eleven months prior to be downsized I was promoted to the director of a program which was running a gourmet cookie and brownie store! Wow, I never knew that many, many years later what I learned and experienced would help me out. I was told that there was no way I could make this little business support myself and my children so I focused on creating a moderate, “safe” career path for myself in the insurance industry. I built my clientele and my insurance business in order to provide for my family and was able to create residual income as well. Of course this meant I had to relinquish my cheesecake business though most of my family and friends were not any happier that I went into the insurance field since I was a 10099 employee. For me it gave me the feel that I was somehow working for myself. I was also busy trying to figure out how I could create a community for one-parent families as well so I was very busy and all the while keeping my children close by. Again always using my community to help me be assured they were in good hands they attended summer camps and after school care as well as having my mom their when I was not.

However, after fourteen years in the insurance field when I realized it was time to leave the field and I found myself trying to figure out what I would do next! I did get busy figuring out once again how I could create this one-parent family into a business that would create revenue that I could live off of. I was lucky enough in 2011 to get connected with Count Me In, for women’s economic independence via the National Latina Business Women’s Association - Los Angeles Chapter (NLBWA-LA). They are an organization that was created and launched in July 2003 to meet the needs of the growing ranks of Latina Entrepreneurs, Executives and Professionals from L.A. (as FYI you do not have to be a Latina to become a member or to gain support from this awesome organization). I was attending the NLBWA-LA’s Emerging Latina in Business course when a special program was coming to town and they suggested that if we could attend we should. It was a program that was being put on with some top women in business and Coca-Cola and I thought why not. That one day program introduced me to Count Me In’s Founder & President Nell Merlino who is leading the national not-for-profit provider of resources for women to grow their micro businesses into million dollar enterprises. I was totally amazed by what she was informing all of us in the audience regarding women in business. I was also moved by the other amazing women such as Nely Galan, an independent producer and a former President of Entertainment for Telemundo and founder of the Adelante Movement. Who gave us all information that kept us at the edge of our seats and reminding us all to not waste our money but to grow it and push forward in business. There were others as well such as Isisara Bey, Vice President of Programs & Education for Count Me In, and “journey agent” for Make Mine a Million $ Business competitions and workshops across the country. Another amazing speaker was Sandra Cisneros, an American writer and poet who’s novel “The House on Mango Street” about young Latina women coming of age in Chicago, sold more than two million copies. Her story of how she became an author was so inspiring! The list of these powerful women was enough to really inspire me to move forward and to figure out how to get my single parent program on the move.

I ended up winning a spot as one of ten extremely lucky women to participate in a program put on my Count Me In by People Biz a remarkable coaching program for business and so much more. The program was an introduction to the Business Accelerator Course that would be one of the prizes when women participate with the 2012 Count Me In, Pitch Competition. Well needless to say I jumped on board with this and in 2012 without thought that I would end-up being one of the competition winners learned how to pitch my business.

As a winner of the 2012 Pitch Competition I was placed into a group of 12 other women to participate and be a student with the People Biz’s “Business Accelerator Course”. By the end of the course I was aware that though my single parenting program is a great idea it is far from being a business that will generate the income I need to leave the insurance field. I choose to make this blog become part of the community for single parent families along with a Meetup group. This is my way of giving back and helping other single parent families to find their way through the maze of parenting on their own.

OK, so this is all great and it is part of my philanthropic portion of my life but the fact remains that I needed to find a business I could be happy with.  In early April I was meeting my cousin’s daughter (Acacia Mora) who had been helping me out administratively to tell her it did not look good and that I did not know what I was going to do next. She looked at me and said “I know go, it’s time for Plan B” I looked at her and asked wow, there is a Plan B? She said yes, you always talk about how you once sold cheesecakes and we did get to taste it and it’s pretty good. She continued to say she would even help me since she loves to bake and would also like to create a business around cooking/baking and health. She thought this would be a great way for her to learn how to do what she wants and asked if I wanted the help she would be there.

It took me three weeks to figure it out; I spoke to my amazing business coach from the Business Accelerator course Alicia Marie, founder and managing director of People Biz, Inc. I reviewed everything from the course and realized I had everything and the knowledge to make this happen. My next step was to rekindle my passion for baking, after all I had been in the insurance world for fourteen years. I then found myself thinking about how I could develop my signature cheesecakes into a thriving business, and more importantly feel like I was making a difference in different communities? I knew the cheesecakes would have to be the best around and different then the top seller (Cheesecake Factory). Further, I knew that I had to “give back” to communities. I needed to figure out how cheesecakes made with love, and are the best in town can also “pay it forward”! Well with the help of Alicia I was able to come up with how I can do all of this and more!

I had to come up with a name and do some tasting and conduct some tasting to assure my cheesecakes were still as great as they were. Three of them were held over a three week period and I was thrilled with the outcome – questioners were completed and from them I ended-up making some slight adjustments to the recipes with an outrageously delicious outcome! This how…

was born!  

I wanted to make sure that the name some how the name would make someone think of family and of homemade quality goods. When I heard the name I said it over and over again aloud and all of a sudden I realized that Mama was the name we (cousins) called my grandmother on my mother’s side! I then said to myself well that is it!

Once I knew this was what I was going to do I got to work on my business plan in order to assure I truly had a great road map (so to speak) to follow. In fact at the National Latina Business Women Association, Los Angeles 10^th Annual Awards Ceremony I was awarded a $2,500 Grant for the 2013 Business Management Academy as a participant with their annual program which included perfecting my elevator speech, creating a business plan along with many other requirements.

Mama Cheesecakes currently has one wholesale account, many repeat customers and after a short time of creating my Facebook Business Page I was pleasantly surprised to have received quite a few followers. In fact click this link to go directly to my Mama Cheesecake page   https://www.facebook.com/MamaCheesecake  and help me reach 100 followers with in a two week period!

At the moment if you live in Los Angeles area or surrounding area you can order via, e-mail mlopez@mamacheesecake.com or by phone 707-704-3482 or by fax 323-837-4770. However, by the end of this month I will have our new website up and running which will bring in the side of this business which will allow me to “pay it forward”! Also I will be able to ship the cheesecakes all over the U.S. which I am working on right now! If you are currently living outside of the U.S., I can’t ship to you but I will work on this as well!!

This is all so very exciting and if it was not for all the marvelous people in my life over the years and for all the good and bad experiences I would not be embarking on this amazing and exciting journey it’s such a riot to be on this trip!

Well now you know the story of my other business which is giving me the affordability to keep this community growing and to make it as large as I can.

I have to give you the links to all of the amazing organizations I have been so thrilled and extremely grateful to be a part of - if you don't know who they are then I suggest you find out because it is all of them along with individuals and books I mentioned in my last blog post that got me here today! They are also part of why I have such amazing kids who are now all grown up and living their own exciting lives!!!

In no special order:

• http://www.nlbwa-la.org/ for the National Latina Business Women Association-Los Angeles
• http://www.countmein.org/
• http://www.peoplebizinc.com/
• http://theadelantemovement.com/about/

And, so it goes… 

How Do I Grow A Business & Be A Great Parent?

You know many single moms & dads have the desire to build their own business having a vision of the great benefits it would hold for their family and yet they never move forward.  I know for me I always wanted to run my own business since I was small but was always told I could not run a business.  Once my ex and I divorced one of the things I thought about over and over again was running my own business but I was told over and over again you are the main bread winner of your family now, you can’t take a chance on a business.  They always made it clear that I had to give up my dreams and make sure I had safe money for my family according to family and friends it was the right thing and the responsible thing - to have a JOB.

Oh I sold Princess House, Tupperware, Avon, Mary Kaye and even tried Amway!  I did well and always hit awards however, none of them fed the need nor my dream of running a successful business.  Does any of this ring true for any of you?

As my kids got older I wanted to make sure that I always showed and told them that they had my support for what they wanted to do with their life.  Well as long as it did not hurt anyone including themselves, it was important to me for them to feel supported unlike the way I felt.

During junior year of high school my daughter came home and said I want to go to Japan for a month mom! I said “What are you crazy?” I stopped and asked how and what was this all about. She explained there was an organization who sent two students every summer for a month to Japan at no cost to the family however, each family had to commit to three years of participating with the organization (a sister city organization). I said "wow".  I wanted to do the same program when I was in high school but was told no it was too much to ask of the family.  The following week we went to an orientation meeting and obtained all the information about the program, the trip and what would be expected of our family.  The next day with my daughter we sat down with my mother (who was at our home during the day while I was at work).  My sister since she lived with us would have agree as well due to the fact that part of our commitment would be to share our home with a student from Ashiya, Japan (the association was a Sister City program in the City of Montebello).  We were able to get everyone on board including my son. It was no surprise that my daughter was selected to be the Student Ambassador for the City of Montebello that summer. And, we were the first single parent family that was ever selected, they told us they truly felt how committed we would be to the organization. I ended up becoming the president of the organization for four years and took them to a whole new level.

My son later came to me and said he wanted to know why our city did not have a skateboard park in our city where they could have a safe place to skate?  I suggested that he attend a City Council meeting and ask this question to our City Council members.  I went with him and we found out about six months prior some older boys came together and asked the same question. A council member asked my son if he would be willing to sit on a committee to help make this happen and my son told them sure and my mom is really good at this kind of stuff so she will to!  The entire council laughed and the audience as well, the council members asked me if I would be willing to sit on the committee as well and of course I said yes. We met with several boys the director of the city's Parks and Recreation department and came up with a plan; not to mention I became the Chairperson of the group.  My vision for this committee was to create a committee that was truly formed from our community, we solicited to neighbors, local businesses, our police & fire department and we gathered as many skateboarders as possible to be a part of our committee.  We were a hit and extremely successful then and today the City of Montebello has one of the top skateboard parks in the state!  My kids both learned there is a right way and wrong way to get things done and most importantly that they can't do it alone!

I truly believe in what I have mentioned in earlier post that "it takes a village to raise a child" and that is what I truly did. But I know you are thinking what does any of this have to do with how I grow a business and be a great parent?

Here is my thought on this comment and if I had the chance to do this single parenting thing over again these five items are what I would do different:

1.      If I did not have supportive individuals in my circle of friends and family I would look for individuals who
      were looking for the same thing. For instance... I would go to Meetup.com and find other single moms
      and dads!

2.      I would not listen to those who say No You Can’t Do That!

3.      I would surround myself with positive individuals, books, and audios. Such as “Millionaire Mind”, “The
      Secret”, Anything from Bob Proctor like his book “You Were Born Rich” Joel Osteen, T. Harv Ecker
      and so much more but these books and individuals are amazing!

4.      I would look for organizations such as “count me in (for women)”, National Latina Business Women’s
      Association (you do not have to be a Latina to join). These are organizations that will keep you pumped
      up and help you formulate your ideas or point you in the right direction. Single dads out there I am sure
      there are lots of organizations you can join as well. I will do some research for you all. I am part of the
      two associations but there are others out there, just become part of one!

5.      Get a handle on your finances, this is real important. I did several different things to help including in the
      very beginning I went to Consumer Credit Counselors. Again there are so many other places to go to
      including attending a three day Intensive program with T. Harv Ecker.

If you make a commitment to the list above I promise you it will make a difference in your world. If you are wanting to start your own business or go back to school, change jobs, change careers or what ever it is to help your family and children then do it and create a great group of people to support you!

Just start making changes! If anyone needs a bit more detail or support you can always send a confidential e-mail to mlopez@parentingonyourown.com

As for the family side you always keep your kids close to you and when you can't have them with you make plans to have them watched by someone you trust in order to attend meetings and such.  Keep in mind our children learn from us, so if they see you being powerful and going after your dreams guess what they will do and be the same way!  When my children were younger I had many weekends where I had to go to the office and guess what I use to take them with me to the office.  I did my work and my kids brought toys and books they had fun, we would take a break and have our sack lunch together.  Almost every night before going to bed we would read a book and then tell each other our dreams. 

I stay involved with my kids at all times and if I had created my own business I would have continued to do the same thing.  Will it be hard to do this?  You may ask, I would love to say of course not it will be a piece of cake but lets be real it will be hard and you will have to juggle your time.  However, remember it won’t be forever, you make your choices.  Though I did not have my own business I did do a lot of other businesses as mentioned like Tupperware.  Since I would be gone on certain nights without my kids I would have choices to make like hanging out with my girlfriends or be at home with my kids on the weekend.  Well of course my kids won but I was always one to make adjustments such as inviting my friends over to our home instead.  We had bar-b-ques and gathering where we would all come together, I got what I wanted adult time as well as my kids and my kids got to play and have me near by.  It was a win, win situation for all.  The same thing can be done if I was putting in extra time to grow a business.  

So take the bull by the horn and go after your dreams don’t delay, don’t wait till everything is just right because it is never just right!

I am now building my business and I'm so excited and happy and you know what both of my kids are so excited for me, they are proud of what I am doing.  Which has helped them to see and go after what they want!

In my next post on Wednesday, July 10th... I will share with you my new business and I'm hoping to have an announcement of my next guest blogger and/or interview by then.

And, so it goes…
Oops, I almost forgot to mention:
If you live in the Los Angeles area or will be in the LA area on Saturday, August 3rd Parenting on your own will be having a Champagne Celebration to celebrate the new business Mama Cheesecake and Parenting on your own!
It will be hosted by An Empowered Women organization and the exciting part is I will be interviewing Founder, Desiree Doubrox, a divorced mom who raised her two boys in a one parent family home as well,  creating businesses to support them! Check out their (An Empowered Women) site at http://www.anempoweredwoman.com/about/ .
If you would like to attend click here, location TBD:
https://anempoweredwoman.infusionsoft.com/app/form/test/bec196027f074b26b5a659a00027b02d?inf_contact_key=0f87383e53ddc86a906cbc6d177388c5 

Carry On...

I know yesterday I was going to make a new post however, there was a family emergency and I found myself driving from Southern CA to Northern CA and along the way at 12 noon I lost my aunt to a brain aneurysm. I spoke to her on Wednesday the 12th and was looking forward to coming up in July and the next thing I know on Monday I received the phone call letting me know she was in the ICU.

I called her to give her and update on the new business which is what I wanted to write about today or yesterday. However, I will save that for next Wednesday. Instead I really just wanted to share with all of you how she was such a source of strength for my kids and I. She and my uncle were always there and always in support my uncle would always take my son off to show him how to do things like wood carving and throwing a ball. He always told me he wished we lived closer so he could be more of an influence for him and my auntie would always be there for me to talk to, to share with, to help me work out issues. I did have the wonderful opportunity to tell her how much I loved and admire both of them

I always told my kids they my aunt and uncle were the models to look at in regards to marriage and team work as a couple.

You know there is so much more to say but I have to run to go meet my uncle and cousins.

By the way I wrote "Carry On" as the title of this post because that is what my auntie said at the end of her conversations always. And, it is so true now it's time for us to "Carry On".

I shall return with so much more!

And, so it goes...

The Tin Can Phone...

Do you all remember the shoestring can telephone? It's funny how that then turned into telling one person one thing and they in turn tell someone else and of course the whole thing is distorted, i'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

You can tell your kids one thing they in turn tell their sibling something completely different from what you said or better yet one of your kids hears a conversation that you are having and they in turn take it and run with it. And, of course what they heard is all wrong and then you have to try and fix it all or sometimes you just leave it alone.

Yesterday, I was on Facebook when a friend posted that she was going to live in London for 15 months! I thought wow, then I thought wait a minute she has two kids in high school and is running a non-profit she is not going anywhere any time soon. I remembered she sent me a message that I had not read with list of other women as recipients and I just blew it off, to be quiet honest. I went back to that message and read it and the whole thing was about breast cancer and creating awareness.

I know this is not October which is the normal awareness time for this but June
for me comes with mixed feelings. This month was when my cousin (who was my best friend in the whole world) was born on the 1st and she lost her battle to breast cancer on June 20th 2005. However, good news was three years ago on June 16th  her first and only grandchild was born, who clearly has her grandmother's stubbornness and smile; she is a gorgeous little girl! Therefore I just had to participate and help remind women about breast cancer.

What the message said was to help women to remember about breast cancer it asked that we forward the message to all females in our list. But it asked us to look at a key and find our birth month and next to it would be a destination, we were to make a simple post on our status saying "I am going to... then according to our birth day that would be how long we would be visiting. I did exactly what it asked and sent over 90 women the message just as it was sent to me.  My post read "I am going to London for 18 months" that is all I typed.  The thought was all these women would be posting where they were going and for how long which would make the men wonder what the heck was going on.

Shortly after making my post wow, oh wow did my Facebook blow-up so many people wondering why I was going, some asking what the heck happened, some asking if they could come stay with me, others asking if they could join me, others just telling me how awesome and to have fun; while others asking why am I just up and leaving? If the response came from a female I in turn re sent the message so they hopefully  know what was really going on.

Keep in mind that I am in the middle of making changes as I mentioned in previous blog postings about moving my parenting program from a website to this blog. I am also right in the beginning stages of building a new business that is starting off so Great (the information on the new business as to why and how will be my next post next week on Wednesday)!   As I just mentioned the new business just started and I truly have not even done an official launch and many individuals know I am doing this. at this. Even though the minute I posted that I was going to London for 18 months the messages, text messages and phone calls started.

I also had a friend post a joke that I met a man who was taking me to London to meet his family! In turn one of my daughters friends saw the post (neither of my kids are on Facebook) and he started texting and calling her. So of course she called me and wanted to know what the heck was going on!

She was so upset though she did say I know this isn't true but... So I told her all about the breast cancer awareness thing and so on and so on. She laughed about it and said her friend was so insistent that I was indeed running off to London with this man I met online (boy did the story grow)!

I couldn't believe how many individuals just took it for grant it that if I said I was going to London then I must be going without even thinking what about my new business or asking me why I was leaving!

I just thought it was so funny - I could not stop laughing the entire night! My son will laugh so hard when he hears this story and he will say that's why I'm not on there.


It was like I was playing the telephone game!


But to bring it back home in reference to children and raising them on our own... I remember the days I would say one thing to my son who in turn would run and tell his sister something different and she would then run to me and ask why.

Then there was the time my daughter overheard my mother and I talking about some things and swore that we were talking about me sending them to live with their dad for always! She was so upset, I believe it was right after that incident that a new house rule was if you heard something you had to bring it up to the person you heard it from to check to see if it was real. I guess I shall be having people reaching out to me for some time asking me when I will be leaving. Actually, I think at some point I will have to mention that I am not going anyway but to the top with my new business and helping single parents through my blog!!

One time my son was in front of the TV with one of his favorite shows on, he had his dinosaurs out playing with them and his farm animal set out as well and a magazine that had an article about dinosaurs. My sister sat next to me on the sofa we were just across from him in the living room - she wanted to talk about a going to a movie with her later that week. I asked her to wait till later to talk to me about this and she said "why, Shawn is way too busy over there to hear us!" Just then he turned around and said "I heard you say that, what movie is sister & I going to go see?" I then turned and looked at her and said "see he heard every word despite all that was going on around him!"

Oh wait, there was the big issue of my son hearing my daughter and her friends talking about no Santa Clause!! That was huge but it all turned out OK, save this topic for much later in the year.

Moral of this story is... little ears are always listening even if you think they are not! Big ears don't necessarily here every word or they don't stop to think about what they heard, they just react!

And, so it goes...

Hot off the press... if you live in the Los Angeles area on Saturday, August 3rd Parenting on your own will be having a Champagne Celebration to celebrate the new business Mama Cheesecake and Parenting on your own.  It will be hosted by An Empowered Women organization and the exciting part is that I will be interviewing Founder, Desiree Doubrox, a divorced mom who raised her two boys in a one parent family home while creating businesses to support them! Check out their site at http://www.anempoweredwoman.com/about/ .  And, this amazing women has been an entrepreneur since the age of 12!

Keep your eyes out for detail or if you want to get on our list now click here:
https://anempoweredwoman.infusionsoft.com/app/form/test/bec196027f074b26b5a659a00027b02d?inf_contact_key=0f87383e53ddc86a906cbc6d177388c5 

your

My Mother's Day Thoughts...

I had started a post once I got home from my relaxing Mother’s Day but was thrilled to have received the note from Alicia Marie to please post her as a guest blogger. So, my post is a bit past the date of Mother’s Day however, the thoughts are there and I did type this out on the 12^th.

I look forward to sharing with you all another guest blogger coming up with in the next two weeks.

Enjoy the read…

May 12, 2013,

Today is Mother’s Day and we all went over to my daughter’s home for dinner. It was a late start as usual (why try to pretend we are early folks cause we are not) it was myself, my sister, my mother, my brother, father, one niece, as well as my son and daughter in-law. It was wonderful I did nothing but sit, watch TV, chat with the family and just enjoy the day.

They had some great gifts (which they did not need to do) for my mother and I as well as for my sister (they know she was always around for them). Both my mom and sister helped us out along the way as we did the single parent family thing. Despite telling them (my kids) that they do not need to buy gifts they do it anyway. It’s not the gifts but the time we all get to share with one another that is so very precious to me!

My son and daughter in-law gave me a book and they each wrote a loving dedication in it to me so sweet. My daughter gave me a cute card along with a gift certificate but it was what was written in the card and in the dedication in book that brought me to tears. As proud of me as they are I truly hope they know how proud of them I am! They both tell me they are who they are because of me and yet I am the women I am today because of them!

I was once asked how was I able to teach my kids to be such awesome adults and I thought about it and here is what I said…

I knew I had to be strong to teach them strength, I had to be fair (to a degree) to teach them fairness, I had to treat them with respect in order to receive it from them and I had to fall from time to time to show them that they will always be able to get back up no matter what happens to them!

You know this single parenting thing is/was a tough job but then parenting in general is a tough job, right?

Long live the three musketeers, who have grown and added to their tribe a wonderful daughter in-law and in the future a son in-law and who knows what else is in store for us..

And, so it goes…

In Celebration of Mom!

I'm a bit behind regarding my May 10^th kick-off however, I'm very excited with what I have in store for those of you who are checking in and reading this blog. Hopefully we get some more comments because the more comments the more interaction and sharing is always a great thing, right?

I want to take this week and the rest of this month to talk and honor moms who are raising their kids on their own. Don’t worry dad’s I know there are a lot of you as well and June is right around the corner which means all the single dads raising their kids on their own will have a chance. I know we can all learn from each other! 

As I promised I do not want to be the only one writing here and I have invited some pretty awesome moms to share their thoughts about raising their kids. What they have learned, what they have gone through and just sharing with all of us.

If you know a mom that we should be hearing from please contact me at mlopez@parentingonyourown.com let me know about who you are thinking of and please leave your name and phone number as well as e-mail. Also leave me a brief history about the mom you feel that others need to hear from. 

Lets begin... This first mom is awesome she raised her kids on her own. She is the founder of an amazing business called People biz, Inc which is a national coaching and training organization based in Austin, TX. That supports client’s measurable transformation in realizing their personal and professional goals. You can obtain Business Coaching, Executive Coaching, Leadership Programs, Wellness Programs and so much more. I have personally taken a business program with People biz, Inc through Count Me In, for women's economic Independence as well as a couple of here other programs and she as well as her team is amazing! You can connect with Alicia via FaceBook and please feel free to go to her business site at http://www.peoplebizinc.com/ -- if you are a mom or dad who is trying to figure out how to get a business up and running they are the people to go to!

I read her post from May 12^th and I knew I had to get permission to post it here for all of my readers to enjoy as much as I did. She was thrilled that I asked and told me yes please share.

OK, more info to follow but for now let’s take a read from Alicia Marie:

Being Fierce & Motherhood: 

Fierce is not mean, judgmental or angry; Fierce is an energy I learned /honed and sharpened from motherhood. I remember first feeling it when holding my first born. No one , no circumstance would ever get in the way of my loving him and caring for him. Fierce contains determination and is unstoppable. It came in handy as a "young mother" when I had to figure out how to put food on the table or manage my highly energetic child who seemingly never slept. 

Being fierce is a wise and spiritual energy and made having my last two sons at home a "no brainer". I learned that the body has it's own wisdom and knows what to do. 

It arose when "authority" such as teachers, doctors, friends and family questioned my parenting choices. 

Fierceness had me educate myself to support my family. It took hold when my children needed me the most and kept me faithful & courageous when they were learning life's lessons. Instead of trying to save them from the world. They learned to be bold. It kept me from interfering with "who" they were as they struggled to find their own way. 

Oh and I learned the "look' You know the "look". The one that stops your child dead in their tracks not from fear but because mom just drew the line in the sand. Fierceness was inclusive because it contained respect for myself and them. Fierceness allowed me to never need them to love me and taught them to love themselves versus look for it outside themselves. 

I never wanted to be a mother because I didn't think I would be good one. I always knew however each child was an unexpected and unplanned blessing and trusted that God would show me the way. 

Just as my mother was absolutely the perfect mother for who I have become somehow I was right for them. Their cards and calls to thank me and acknowledge me today was nice but it is no comparison to watching them live their lives with authenticity and strength. Now, they are grown men I am super proud of, not because of what they have done but because of who they are..."Fierce". 

I am forever grateful for this lesson of motherhood. I carry it with me everyday. Maybe God does have a plan for us all. 

Thank you Alicia for allowing me to take your facebook post and to share it here on my blog!

And, so it goes...