Success, Parenting & Family

My last two posts were about success, what we learn from family, and about doing so much for everyone that you do nothing for yourself. Now how does this all relate to one parent families?

I can’t speak for everyone but I can for myself as well as those I know personally and here is what I see and what I have learned:

As a single mom or dad or grandparent you are so busy trying to raise you child on your own because more then just mom/dad/grandparent and it’s your responsibility to not just take care of the children but it’s your responsibility to do it all. You need to go out make the money, be tough and be a loving with the kids, keep the house up, teach your children right from wrong, entertain the kids, pay all the bills and make sure you have money to do all of this, remember to be in touch with family and friends, and so on and son. Boy is that a lot, just typing it made me exhausted and tired however, what we don’t realize is that we don’t have to be everything to everyone. Our sole responsibility is to keep our eye on the goal and that is to raise healthy, happy and vibrant children!

We should be able to steer them through the road map of life; through the ups and downs of life’s rollercoaster so when they are faced with making choices they will hopefully make the right choice.

I use to drive myself crazy trying to figure out my kids every move, trying to figure out how I can be everywhere and still work my eight hour job as well as keep up with housework, etc. Boy was I driving myself crazy especially when they started to get older because I realized that the choices they were going to have to make were bigger and scarier now. Do they ditch school with friends, do they take a drink or do drugs, and do they worry about grades or blow school off. Not to mention the cell phones and the internet and all that comes with that as well. And, I haven’t even mentioned the boys & girls issues of dating and such. Or how do you even fit in dating with all of this going on?

A good friend of mine stepped in and told me you know you are going to drive yourself crazy trying to stay ahead of your kids. You should realize that for about eight hours or so they are not around you and there is nothing you can do about that because you have to be at work! So you teach them well and help them learn right from wrong and then you trust them! Just don’t forget to talk to them from time to time. Then she laughed.

I got to tell you those were some of the best words I had heard about raising children and it was simple. I started to chill and I let go of trying to be their dad as well, I even told them that I was not their dad and could not be because I was their mom. I also would tell them over and over again that I would always be here for them and that I hoped they knew they could come to me with any questions they had! I sat down with of my two kids and told them that we were partners in this thing called a family and that it would take all three of us to get through this growing up stuff. I also told them over and over again that no matter how angry I may get over a situation that I would hope they would know that I still loved them and that I would never send them away or leave them! That was our golden rule that we would all remember that no matter how angry any of us got that we were family and we loved each other. The other thing that I made sure we did was talk we talked about a lot of things and we always listened to each other. We never missed our time to talk about the future and what our dreams were and what we wanted.

You see moms, dads and a grandparent alone or with a partner runs into the same issues and if we are so busy taking care of everyone how can we take care of our family? If we are so busy worrying about what might happen and what might not happen, how we can teach our kids that everything will be OK.  How do we worry about every little thing in our lives and our children’s and yet try to be and show that we are positive? My answer to myself and other parents who are doing this on their own is to remember that we can’t do it all; so instead we have to stay focused on what we would like our outcome to be for our families. I had to realize that as I raised my children that I was going to be their main teacher who teaches them right from wrong and not just talking about it but doing it, showing them. That is how they learn by listening and by seeing it happen before them. They mimic what we do and therefore we need to be on our toes at all times however when we mess up (and we do because we are human) we need to fess up to it and acknowledge it!    

This quote is one that I try to live by and when I slip I’m not hard on myself,  because I know that I can get right back on track and keep on moving with my head held high. The nice thing is my two children do the same, they keep their eye on the end result and when they slip up they know they can get back up and get back on track.  This quote has been said a thousand different ways but I like the way Cecil B. DeMille says it…

“The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly,”

You see as a single mom, dad, or grandparent raising our kids on our own can get out of hand and we can get so busy trying to raise them and working that we stop looking at the goal!

By having membership with our online community you will have access to tools that will help you keep your goals in front of you at all times! We will be able to connect you to others as well so you can develop a great support system. Keep your eye out for our official launch late November early December 2012! In the meantime you can always “Like” us and follow us on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/Parentingonyourown

What are your thoughts on this subject? Leave us a comment we sure would appreciate it :) 

And, so it goes…