First and foremost sorry I did say that I would post today my thoughts on all the statistics I have been posting however, I have had internet issues for the last couple of days. I believe it is all cleared up now or so I'm told it is, so without delay here is my information. I apologize in advance also for the long posting - I hope you will read this to the end and share the post as well as leave a comment!
What Do All of These Statistics Mean To Me?
To be honest I detest giving any life to these statistics (which I
believe happens each time they are read) and yet people want to know. For me
when I give or print out statistics or as I do updates with new searches regarding
statistics for single parent families I end up feeling so drained, as well as sad
and after a bit I become angry! I have to remind myself that statistics are
nothing more then numbers that are generated by studies, questionnaires and census.
Numbers do tell a story but they are not always accurate and for the most part
they do not tell the story in a positive manner! Remember numbers can be
skewed, be changed and not tell the whole story.
This is my personal
statement with regards to the statistics I have been posting:
For my family and many others that I know who’s family are referred to
as “single parents” I would like to point out a few things such as I worked
full-time, attend classes off & on part-time, and I tried to out many different
home based business (part-time) to help with income while raising my two
children from the ages of 3 & 7. From this point forward I would rather say
“one-parent family” than single parent because we are also a family! Again this
is regarding me and many one-parent families that I know who has raised or
raising their families without assistance from the State, County, or Government
programs of any kind! My two children graduated from High School one of them
was in the top 10% and Solitarian of her graduating class! The other graduated
from high school and received awards for his attendance through out his
education and I was personally thanked by his teachers and counselors for bring
him to their school! They were not drop outs nor ever arrested or incarcerated,
they were not runaways or tried to commit suicide and neither of my children
were teenage parents. I am proud of my children and they are just as good as
any child from any two-parent family and I must say I did a pretty good job
despite what is written out there in terms of what should have happened to them
while growing up in a one-parent family!
I worked full-time all year round and I received higher then average
salaries. And, I am proud to state once again that I never received Public
Assistance of any kind nor did other one-parent families that I knew and know
of today. I also did many home based businesses to help bring in extra income
when we needed it for everything from school trips to vacations.
I was lucky to have had help from my sister and my mother was my sitter
at my home while I worked. Their other grandmother and grandfather from their
father’s side was also a great help to us as the children were growing up.
My children had male influences from both uncles (not boyfriends) and grandfathers
from both
sides of their families. Their father was not involved in their upbringing nor
did he live in California
I know moms and dads who have built businesses and completed higher
education all while raising upstanding children as a one-parent family. I know
children who come from two-parent families and they cannot say that they were
not teen moms or dads. That they finished their high school education and so
and so on.
There are a lot of Moms and Dads from one-parent families that need to
see the other side of the coin and learn that the numbers they read are just in
fact numbers. That their kids do not need to be part of the statistics they
read about. Children who read this information should know that they do not have
to be part of the statistics.
They should have a place to go to where they can read about the positive
side of being part of a one-parent family! Did you know that it’s a fact that
children have a stronger bond with their parent while growing up and as adults
who come from a one-parent family rather then a two-parent family? Did you know that children know and understand
their community and the resources (like park and recreation activities, city
council and city organizations) that are their for them more from one-parent
families then from two-parent families?
Children should be able to find and hear about children who were raised or
being raided in a one-parent family who are successful, with school and their
lives! We all should be able to see and hear about this because the fact is
whether we like it or not one-parent families are here and they are not going
away. We become one-parent families sometimes because of divorce, because a
relationship fails, a teen pregnancy, or a death, most times we are not looking
for it. However, more then ever, one-parent families are created because an
individual wants to share their love, time and money with a child through birth
or adoption and there is nothing wrong with that.
This is why the online membership community Parenting On Your Own has
been created! This site has resources that will be available to tell the story
on the good side verses all the bad negative information we find on the
internet and in books. Of one-parent families who are doing great, of a parent
that is studying to earn their higher education degree, of the child who was
raised in a one-parent home who is doing well and is a thriving and a contributing
person to society. Articles along the
same line on our blog, the highlighting of a one-parent family and what they
have gone through and what they are doing to raise healthy and thriving
children. The site will also connect the one-parent family to organizations and
businesses in their communities.
In general the Mission of Parenting On Your Own is to…
Empower one-parent families to feel that they have the same social
connections and resources as couples do, so they can create happy vibrant
children on their own!
Go to our temporary website at parentingonyourown.com go to the click
here button to complete a survey; help design this site to be what your family
is looking for. Go to our guest page and leave us a note and your contact
information (FYI no one will be able to see your contact information but our
web person). Then keep an eye out for our big launch party if you leave your
contact information on the “guest page” we will keep you in the loop of things.
We are also putting together some great webinars, tele-classes and interviews
as sneak previews! If your not from a one-parent family I’m sure you know
someone who is send them our way! Also if you have children but are from a
two-parent family and are thinking this site is not for you… I’m sure there are
times you find yourself alone with your child for a meal or rushing them to
school or to pick them after school or at day care because your spouse is
unavailable due to work. Or your spouse is in the military and are on
deployment – well guess what you are a one-parent family at that time!
Thank you for taking time to read all of the information and my
thoughts! Sorry this was soooo long!
And, so it goes…
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